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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Gilraen on Tue May 06, 2014 9:19 am

So my reading was that she reused Hermes branded paper (or whatever) when it was really a wallet from Macy's thus making her friend think she got an exciting designer gift. Though, I have to say, I don't think I would have assumed that my friends had sprung for a $3,000 wallet.

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Re: Advice Columns

Post  punzy on Tue May 06, 2014 9:21 am

I was unaware the wrapping indicated the monetary value of the gift. Also I was unaware that designer wrapping paper is a thing. Target wrapping paper that cost $2 per tube for me!

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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Never Enough on Tue May 06, 2014 11:08 am

I have had people assume something was from a different store because I reused a box, so specific brand wrapping paper makes sense for causing confusion. But I'm with Abby, the friend should have laughed it off and gotten over it once she realized what the present really was.

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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Shalamar on Tue May 06, 2014 11:36 am

Yeah, I've used boxes from previous purchases for gifts before, but I always say "It's not a (coffee maker/popcorn maker/blender)" when the recipient is opening it. I agree with Abby that the recipient here was the tacky one for making it so obvious she was disappointed about the "cheap" gift.
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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Poubelle on Tue May 06, 2014 9:46 pm

I mean, I get the excitement/confusion combo on the gift-getter's side, but that is something you should do a better job hiding. I also can't imagine making such a big deal out of a thing like wrapping paper that you'd write into an advice column.
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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Binky on Tue May 06, 2014 10:33 pm

Poubelle wrote:I mean, I get the excitement/confusion combo on the gift-getter's side, but that is something you should do a better job hiding. I also can't imagine making such a big deal out of a thing like wrapping paper that you'd write into an advice column.

A large percentage of advice column letter writers seem to write in for the express purpose of having their unusual/atypical/overreaction sentiment validated, though.
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Re: Advice Columns

Post  particle_person on Wed May 07, 2014 1:52 am

Holy shit.

This is an admirable attempt to answer an unbelievably racist question.

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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Shadowlass on Wed May 07, 2014 6:06 pm

Shalamar wrote:Yeah, I've used boxes from previous purchases for gifts before, but I always say "It's not a (coffee maker/popcorn maker/blender)" when the recipient is opening it.  I agree with Abby that the recipient here was the tacky one for making it so obvious she was disappointed about the "cheap" gift.

As a child I once unwrapped, from a relative notorious for her cheapness, a box of cookies. I thanked her very sweetly, and then she told me to open the box, that the present wasn't cookies. But the thing was, it might have been. It was a catch 22 for me! A box of cookies as my birthday present would have been totally believable from her!

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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Lily Rose on Wed May 07, 2014 8:04 pm

particle_person wrote:Holy shit.

This is an admirable attempt to answer an unbelievably racist question.
Yeah, that is above and beyond. I would have been tempted to just type "FUCK YOU" until it filled the whole space.

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Re: Advice Columns

Post  inversed on Wed May 07, 2014 8:41 pm

I’m mad at you, but I don’t think you are stupid or evil. I think you need some education.

Well I think she's both stupid and evil, so agree to disagree.

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Re: Advice Columns

Post  mayram on Wed May 07, 2014 10:18 pm

particle_person wrote:Holy shit.

This is an admirable attempt to answer an unbelievably racist question.

I have trouble believing that letters like that are real. Even if someone actually does feel that way, it seems highly unlikely that they wouldn't realize that their opinions will be unpopular or unlikely to get a positive response.

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Re: Advice Columns

Post  particle_person on Wed May 07, 2014 10:38 pm

mayram, the way I found this was through a discussion of whether such extreme racism even exists. Specifically, via Sara's twitter:

tweet 1

tweet 2
The reason I answered this racist question in public is because she was asking me white to white like we were a club.

I don't think she's primarily an advice columnist, she just has a section of her tumblr where people can ask questions.

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Re: Advice Columns

Post  year of the cat on Fri May 09, 2014 5:07 am

A father of one of our friends, no lie, called the POTUS a Halfling Muletto this weekend because he had the nerve to: visit our tornado ravaged area. The thread was epic. A lot of call-outs of his benighted attitude mixed with a bunch of LOTR jokes I'm sure the guy had no idea what was going on. I felt sorry for his son, who is the Best damn Kid in the world, and doesn't have anything in common with his creepy father.
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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Kiran on Fri May 09, 2014 9:31 am

As a not white person, trust me when I say I've had similarly hateful things said to my face.
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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Binky on Fri May 09, 2014 2:30 pm

I always overestimate racists' intelligence. If they're stupid enough to be bigots, they're usually too stupid to hide it.
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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Snarryfan on Fri May 09, 2014 3:15 pm

I will say that a Halfling Muletto does sound like an intriguing new drink from Starbucks.

I think the amazing thing is that some people can say incredibly racist things but if they are saying it to other white people they think the racism is mitigated. My, now gone coworker, mentioned being in Silver Spring and a black man catcalled her. Her response, which she shared with me and my boss (both white) was: "I was like, um, what, I'm a white girl." For her the issue was not being catcalled by a stranger ,which I could understand being peeved about, but that a black person had the gall to speak to HER in such a manner.

I was so tempted to tell her to google Emmet Till but I have a feeling she wouldn't have gotten it.

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Re: Advice Columns

Post  punkysdilemma on Fri May 09, 2014 4:43 pm

Wow. People really still are that lame.

I am half Chinese, which confuses people. I have been asked if I'm Hispanic or Italian. So one of the more surprising moments of my life was when within 20 minutes of getting off a plane in Boise, Idaho, some asshole leaned out of a car and did the "Chink eyes" thing at me, while someone else in the car yelled to my then-boyfriend asking if "it" was slanted. Nice.
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Re: Advice Columns

Post  punkysdilemma on Wed May 14, 2014 1:34 am

I had no idea people were really this obtuse. The columnist was nice to answer politely.
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Re: Advice Columns

Post  year of the cat on Wed May 14, 2014 7:37 am

I'm so sorry punkysdilemma. I'm mentally backing into the hedge with Homer Simpson over that comment. WHUT.
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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Shalamar on Wed May 14, 2014 10:48 am

The reply to that letter was very cool.

That raises another topic for me, though - what do you guys think of someone who's in a common-law relationship referring to his "wife"? It somehow bugs me. I keep thinking "You're not married, though."
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Re: Advice Columns

Post  mialoubug on Wed May 14, 2014 11:58 am

In some U.S. states, common law status is recognized as a "legal" marriage. I don't know what the terms are but I know that in New Hampshire, for instance, common law marriages are recognized in probate court around family, child custody and wills.
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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Snarryfan on Wed May 14, 2014 12:29 pm

Yep, it varies state by state and each state sets its year "requirements." Then you have all of the gay couples who marry legally in one state and then the moment they cross a boundary go from spouses to partners.

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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Kiran on Wed May 14, 2014 12:57 pm

It's recognized in Manitoba.
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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Agent_Squeaks on Wed May 14, 2014 7:44 pm

Oh I love Steven Petrow-the columnist. I own his book. That was a very graceful answer he gave.

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Re: Advice Columns

Post  Coneycat on Thu May 15, 2014 8:17 am

Shalamar wrote:That raises another topic for me, though - what do you guys think of someone who's in a common-law relationship referring to his "wife"?  It somehow bugs me.  I keep thinking "You're not married, though."

I think the terminology probably reflects the commitment the person feels toward the relationship, whether they've gone through a marriage ceremony or not, so the usage doesn't bother me at all. (Whether the province they live in recognizes common-law or not.)

Also, yeah, that's a lovely answer to an obtuse but probably sincere question.

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Re: Advice Columns

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