Awful Christmas Movies

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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  The Dude on Thu Dec 08, 2011 2:42 pm

I had a germ of a memory of seeing it as a preschooler, but the years of being only a bootleg made The Star Wars Holiday Special a holy grail trainwreck. Imagine if William Shatner's Transformed Man were just a rumor.

It's pretty much unwatchable without Rifftrax (15 minutes of wookie grunting), the 70's at it's shag carpetedest, all the weaknessess of a variety and an ignominious debut for Boba Fett.
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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  Shalamar on Thu Dec 08, 2011 2:47 pm

I was 12 when I watched the Star Wars Christmas Special. I was one of the biggest Star Wars fans you ever met, and even I couldn't sit through it. I asked a friend the next day how it ended; she pulled a face and said "Princess Leia sang." "She what? Ohmygod."

I think they lost me when I realized that the scenes with the Wookies were (a) endless and (b) not subtitled.
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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  pizzagirl20 on Wed Dec 14, 2011 12:57 am

Four pages of replies and no one has mentioned White Christmas? I don't watch it because it has a spectacular plot, but man the songs are fantastic. Bing Crosby's eyes are ever so blue. Vera Ellen's waist is so teeny tiny. And Rosemary Clooney is just beautiful. Danny Kaye makes me laugh. I watch this on TV at least 3-4 times a year.

My mom, sister and I used to go see it at this historic theater in town, but they haven't shown it the past few years. They had an old copy of it, and the inside of the theater looks like a jukebox. So it was really fun to see it on the big screen.
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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  boutros boutros kitty on Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:10 am

On the netflix kids thing, there is a movie called "Gotta Catch Santa Claus" that was, I think, an ABC made-for-tv movie. It's terrrrrrrrrible. My son loooooooooooves it. Loves it loves it loves it. William Shatner voices Santa, so that's fun, but otherwise it's just awful.

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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  laddical on Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:41 am

Vera Ellen's waist is so teeny tiny.

Her waist and the fact that she had to wear turtlenecks all the time completely skeeve me out any time she's onscreen. But I still love the movie.
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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  Jude on Sat Dec 17, 2011 10:36 pm

And her legs go all the way up to those turtlenecks of hers. I actually love that movie, though I find Bing Crosby a little skeevy. He's always reminded me of a nightmare I once had of a guy whose head was a strawberry, and...

Never mind.

I HATE Love Actually. I like Bill Nighy's character, and I like Emma Thompson's, but then her dick of a husband Alan Rickman goes and lets himself be lured by that skanky little trollop he works with, and I just want to punch someone in the face. Plus, don't get me started on how the annoying stepkid of Liam Neeson is more concerned with his crush than he is with mourning his mom, who JUST DIED. I've tried to like this movie, I really have, multiple times even, because everyone else seems to love it. But I just can't. I feel so alone!

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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  jcpdiesel21 on Sun Dec 18, 2011 7:53 pm

Although I do like the movie now, I understand your feelings about it, Jude. When I bought it on DVD, I second guessed myself once I got home and considered taking it back because there are many things about that movie that don't completely work for me. But for me, the good outweighed the bad and in subsequent viewings, the parts that I don't like bug me less and less... except for the storyline where Colin goes to America and scores with all of the hot girls. I like to pretend that entire storyline doesn't exist, and wish there was an option to completely skip it.
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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  Matinee on Sun Dec 18, 2011 11:21 pm

Jude wrote:
I HATE Love Actually. I like Bill Nighy's character, and I like Emma Thompson's, but then her dick of a husband Alan Rickman goes and lets himself be lured by that skanky little trollop he works with, and I just want to punch someone in the face. Plus, don't get me started on how the annoying stepkid of Liam Neeson is more concerned with his crush than he is with mourning his mom, who JUST DIED. I've tried to like this movie, I really have, multiple times even, because everyone else seems to love it. But I just can't. I feel so alone!

Disclaimer that I love it, but one thing I like about the Thompson-Rickman storyline is that him being a horrible jackass leads to some just wonderful moments of acting from Emma Thompson, especially the bit after she opens the CD and puts it all together and goes to compose herself. But yes, he is anger-inducing to the extreme. I actually also give points to the filmmakers that they don't try to act like all is well between them at the end. I fanwanked the kid thing as him wanting something hopeful to focus on in his grief.

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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  Kiran on Sun Dec 18, 2011 11:27 pm

I don't even think that's fanwanking. I always thought the reason the kid focused in on that girl was that she was the one thing that didn't make him sad and the reason that Liam Neeson helps him so much is that because he wants to be a good dad and make him happy now that his mom is gone.
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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  Eris Rising on Sun Dec 18, 2011 11:29 pm

Kiran wrote:I don't even think that's fanwanking. I always thought the reason the kid focused in on that girl was that she was the one thing that didn't make him sad and the reason that Liam Neeson helps him so much is that because he wants to be a good dad and make him happy now that his mom is gone.

That was also what I got from it, which gives that climactic scene in the airport more emotional weight. The kid isn't just chasing after a crush. He's running after the only bit of light in his world other than his stepfather.
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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  Jude on Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:58 am

I understand how that could be a valid interpretation of that particular storyline, but I just don't think the boy was playing it that way. Or maybe he was, and I just couldn't see it. It seemed to me that between that and the plot with Colin Firth falling for the Portuguese woman right after finding his girlfriend (or wife or fiancee, whatever she was) in bed with his brother, there was a lot of rushing the emotions for the sake of driving the storylines.

Or maybe it was that there were too many stories and not enough emphasis on any one particular one for me. It felt frenetic, and as I said, kind of rushed.

But yes, I totally agree that Emma Thompson was wonderful in the film. Her performance was one of the few things I liked, along with Bill Nighy's and to a slightly lesser extent, Hugh Grant's.

As I said, I know I'm swimming upstream and all alone on this one! But I have tried, I really have. I've seen the movie at least 5 or 6 times. I WANT to like it. I just don't.

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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  mokey75 on Mon Dec 19, 2011 11:29 am

Eris Rising wrote:
Kiran wrote:I don't even think that's fanwanking. I always thought the reason the kid focused in on that girl was that she was the one thing that didn't make him sad and the reason that Liam Neeson helps him so much is that because he wants to be a good dad and make him happy now that his mom is gone.

That was also what I got from it, which gives that climactic scene in the airport more emotional weight. The kid isn't just chasing after a crush. He's running after the only bit of light in his world other than his stepfather.

It also seemed as though the mom had been sick for a long time. Which doesn't mean the kid wouldn't still be grieving, of course, but I think knowing that makes it a little easier for me to swallow.

Andplus, her name was Joanna, just like his mom!

But Jude, I totally agree about the Colin Firth plot on some level. It's totally ridiculous, and there's a whole host of issues you can cite about the girl not speaking English and being his maid and whatever. But I can't help it -when he shows up in that restaurant speaking broken Portuguese and looking all adorable, I kind of melt.

And the Colin-goes-to-America storyline is pretty much the worst. They should have dropped that and spent more time on the porn actors. Because they were adorable.
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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  big chicken on Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:29 pm

It cracks me up that for the US broadcast of Love Actually, they completely cut out the porn actors storyline but leave in the bit where they meet up on the doorstep of her house.

I like to pretend Love Actually exists in the same movieverse as Bridget Jones' Diary and Harry Potter.

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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  bluebird on Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:41 pm

Jude, you are not alone!!! I also don't like Love, Actually! I've watched it a few times now, and meh. Everyone else loves it so I always think 'this is the time I'm gonna love it!' and then I never do. I feel like we might be the only people in the world who dislike it though.

My favourite Christmas movie is While You were Sleeping. So hilarious. I quote from it all the time. 'He looks like hes...leaning.' 'I know karate,' 'these mashed potatoes are so creamy!' 'I'm sick? You're cheating on a vegetable!' I'll stop now.

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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  Eris Rising on Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:32 am

big chicken wrote:It cracks me up that for the US broadcast of Love Actually, they completely cut out the porn actors storyline but leave in the bit where they meet up on the doorstep of her house.

I like to pretend Love Actually exists in the same movieverse as Bridget Jones' Diary and Harry Potter.

Thrown in Bad Santa as a counterpoint, and you've got a deal.
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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  Gillian on Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:45 am

My favourite Christmas movie is While You were Sleeping. So hilarious. I quote from it all the time. 'He looks like hes...leaning.' 'I know karate,' 'these mashed potatoes are so creamy!' 'I'm sick? You're cheating on a vegetable!' I'll stop now.
I've watched While You Were Sleeping twice this holiday season. It's not just my favorite Christmas movie, it's one of my favorite movies ever. There's so very much to love.

But then again, I've watched Love Actually twice, too. For me, everything that is stupid is outweighed by everything that is adorable. I hate the story of the kid who comes to America to sex up the American ladies the most, but even then I crack up at the scene where he's pointing to random objects and saying their names in his accent, and the girls repeat them, and then they all stop when he gets to table because it sounds the same. It's SO STUPID, but it makes me laugh every time.

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Re: Awful Christmas Movies

Post  Luthien on Thu Dec 22, 2011 9:05 pm

Love Actually is a complete guilty pleasure of mine. Lots of the stories aren't that great when you stop to think about them, but the charm outweighs the sketchiness. I agree that the British guy who goes to the US to get laid just on his accent alone is ridiculous (I suppose they're making a joke about a stereotype, but it's a bit skeevy to me that all American women in the movie except Laura Linney are portrayed as sluts), but it does have its funny moments. I do like his friend: "Colin, you are an ugly lonely arsehole, and you must accept it!" Why couldn't that story have followed him instead?

I've discovered a new holiday special to add to my tradition. I haven't done that since Elf came out years ago. I saw Prep and Landing last Sunday, and it was the sweetest, cleverest Christmas special I've seen in ages. Sweet without being cloying or saccharine, clever without being self-aware and reliant on pop culture jokes. The animation was great; I was very impressed by the quality of the writing as well.

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