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Fifty Shades of Grey

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Post  Unlucky Bear Wed May 23, 2012 12:10 am

One of my asshole friends picked this for our next book club selection, and she gets REALLY into her party planning, so I'm terrified to see how this plays out. A few people have read it for the lulz, so I'm going to give it a try.
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Post  biakbiak Wed May 23, 2012 1:11 am

Or you could just get the Audible version as read by Gilbert Gottfried.
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Post  Ji Xiang Wed May 23, 2012 2:36 am

Crowbridge wrote:Wait...Anna gets pregnant? For real?

I only know what happens in the first book, but what happens in the other two? Anyone up to putting it in spoiler tags?

I'll try, see what I can remember (no guarantee that the chronology is right), but I *think* the details are mostly there. Cue very long section of text:
Spoiler:
And of course, between EVERY one of these things, add 3-5 pages of sex. And irrational misunderstanding that would be clarified if they could just COMMUNICATE. And lots of mentions of an "inner goddess."

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Post  Cutebutpsycho Wed May 23, 2012 2:38 pm

Ji xiang, did I just read the plot of the recent season of a telenova?
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Post  Carrie Ann Wed May 23, 2012 4:12 pm

Especially after reading that excellent synopsis, I am seriously baffled at the women on my Facebook feed talking about how we all need a Christian Grey. For WHAT exactly? I mean, if you want to be a sub in the bedroom, cool, there are a lot of people out there who can make that happen for you. But what about the rest of the time? He seems like a pain in the ass.
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Post  bookworm Wed May 23, 2012 5:20 pm

I convinced our leisure reading purchaser to not get them. We're an academic library! We have standards! I am wondering if some of our English grad students studying fan fiction will request them anyway.


Last edited by bookworm on Wed May 23, 2012 8:27 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post  Putli Bai Wed May 23, 2012 7:26 pm

Wow, that is so much crazier than I thought it could possibly be. And I have an excellent imagination.
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Post  naughty zoot Thu May 24, 2012 8:34 am

Our supplier is out of the series so we can't buy any through them. However, there are STACKS of them at BJ's Wholesale Club. So, it looks like the usual "best-seller" shenanigans where much of the supply ends up on discount racks.
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Post  Crowbridge Thu May 24, 2012 9:27 am

Thank you for the synopsis, Ji Xiang. :)

Good god...reading all of that makes me tremble over the fact that there are women who actually WANT Christian. WHY!?!

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Post  blooey Thu May 24, 2012 12:12 pm

People on every social networking site I frequent are constantly clogging up the Matt Bomer search/tag with "Matt Bomer should play Christian Grey! Matt Bomer is Christian Grey!" It's made me irrationally angry toward the books. I don't go into the Matt Bomer tag for opinions on books and casting, I go there when I'm having a bad day and want to stare at his face. It's like they have no idea what the interenet is even for.

Ji Xiang's synopsis is awesome, though. What I was imagining was so much worse that now I kind of want to read at least the one where the dude gets his ass kicked. That sounds fun.

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Post  ActonBell Thu May 24, 2012 12:21 pm

I don't go into the Matt Bomer tag for opinions on books and casting, I go there when I'm having a bad day and want to stare at his face. It's like they have no idea what the interenet is even for.

I feel your pain. I'm not a Bomer fan, but I get so annoyed when I'm looking for pictures on tumblr and see all of these ridiculous fancasting suggestions or rpg games. I just want to look at pretty people, tumblr!
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Post  Cynara Thu May 24, 2012 3:05 pm

Last night my almost 60-year-old mother says to me "So I got the free sample of 50 Shades of Grey on my Kindle!" I was like CURSE YOU, AMAZON! So I asked her how she liked it (dreading the answer), and she goes, "Actually, it's pretty terrible. I'm only on page three and I don't think I'll need to read the whole thing." I'm all THANK YOU JEBUS and she continues "Dolly [coworker friend] just RAVED about it! But, well, she's not exactly a brain trust. Also, I doubt she and Harry have any sex at all. Oh, so, great. Now I'm considering Dolly and Hank's sex life. That's just great. Screw this."

Also, I talked about how much it sucks in the breakroom at work, thinking my coworker was talking about how much she hated it. She was actually talking about how much she loved it. I managed to backtrack by saying I knew it started off as Twilight fic but "I think they fixed it up for publication; it's probably better now" WHICH I KNOW IS A COMPLETE LIE. She's like "Yeah, I couldn't put it down! Just like Twilight!" Forget it, Jake; it's Sparkletown. (I feel like someone's made that joke here before, but my God it's really true.)

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Post  puddingcup Thu May 24, 2012 3:14 pm

Interesting infographic

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Post  Instant Monkeys Thu May 24, 2012 3:23 pm

Are you kidding me with this shit? "Gideon Cross"? "Eva"?

So 50 Shades of Grey has thinly disguised fanfic now? Which is being picked up for publication? And will probably inspire its own fanfic?

I want to go home now.
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Post  big chicken Thu May 24, 2012 5:28 pm

puddingcup wrote:Interesting infographic

Interesting. Illinois is the second highest in terms of reading the book yet the rating is the second lowest.

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Post  The Lady of Shalott Thu May 24, 2012 6:38 pm

You guys, my mom told me the other day that she really, really wanted to read these books. I think I made a noncommittal noise and then ran to the kitchen cabinets to swallow all the drain cleaner because I CAN'T DEAL.
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Post  bookworm Thu May 24, 2012 6:49 pm

If she does, please start a blog to record everything. For science.
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Post  maxell131313 Thu May 24, 2012 7:21 pm

bookworm wrote:If she does, please start a blog to record everything. For science.

I would like to second that request.
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Post  Crowbridge Thu May 24, 2012 10:02 pm

I just saw a big rack of them at Safeway with 50% off stickers. Does this mean no one is buying this shit, or am I too hopeful?

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Post  Luthien Thu May 24, 2012 10:21 pm

I don't know about buying, but I noticed at my library that there are over 80 people waiting for Fifty Shades of Grey, but only two people waiting for the second one, and one for the third. So, maybe we can hope that everyone is getting their porn fix out of the first one, and realizing that that don't care enough about the poorly written story to keep going?

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Post  Instant Monkeys Thu May 24, 2012 11:13 pm

Someone next to me was reading it on the bus this afternoon, on her Kindle.

And I am HIGHLY embarrassed that I totally knew after glancing at like two words of it that that's what it was. (Not until the third glance did I see the name "Christian Grey.")
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Post  Gallifrey Girl Fri May 25, 2012 12:22 pm

My book club met last night. I'd already mentally prepared some rebuttals of why we *shouldn't* read it, in case anyone suggested it. As it happens, two people mentioned buying it (one knew its origins, the other didn't), and both of them stopped reading within 50 pages because it was so poorly written.

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Post  Francie Nolan Fri May 25, 2012 1:38 pm

Instant Monkeys wrote:Someone next to me was reading it on the bus this afternoon, on her Kindle.

And I am HIGHLY embarrassed that I totally knew after glancing at like two words of it that that's what it was. (Not until the third glance did I see the name "Christian Grey.")

This scenario happened to me yesterday, except it was while I was getting pedicure. I saw the name "Christian" and the phrase "Holy crap!" in one glance--it was a Fifty Shades bingo! I was embarrassed that I knew that much, but I was even more embarrassed when I realized how, um, enthused she looked while in the vibrating massage chair.

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Post  particle_person Fri May 25, 2012 8:50 pm

Mark Reads "Fifty Shades" (via PrincessCleo on Twitter)

I wanted a hood to pull over my head at that point too.
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Post  Instant Monkeys Fri May 25, 2012 9:09 pm

The girl next to me on the bus home TONIGHT was ALSO reading 50 Shades of Grey on her Kindle (or some e-reader). That's two nights in a row, y'all. (Yes, it was definitely a different person.)

This time it was chapter 7 and I read the part where Christian is explaining being a dom and starts asking Anastasia if she likes cheese. I was like OMG I HAVE ALREADY READ THIS ON THE INTERNET.
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