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Post  bookworm on Thu Apr 25, 2013 6:30 pm

WHO ELSE WATCHED THIS.

I have so many feels!

The acting...the gazing...the stilted dialogue...the TAIL. DUDE, SERIOUSLY.

Also, WHAT WAS UP WITH FAMKE JANSSEN'S FACE. HER ACCENT.

I HAVE SO MANY FEELS.
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Post  laddical on Thu Apr 25, 2013 6:33 pm

I've been looking for a new series to try an experiment on. My wife and I just watched "Monarch of the Glen" because she was looking for something to fill the void left by "Downton Abbey". It was cute, and kind of nice in a "finally a show I don't have to think about too much" kind of way. But then we got to the last season and WOW WOW WOW I have never seen a show tailspin into absolute crapitude like that show did.

It's inspired me to try something a little off the wall - watching a series backwards. I'm thinking of doing it with this show.

Because I want to watch the show. FAMKE JANSSEN YES, FUNNY ACCENT OR NOT. But at the same time, I'm kind of maxed out on grotesque horror between The Walking Dead and Hannibal. So I'm thinking if I watch this in an unusual way, maybe it'll help me power into it regardless.
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Post  bookworm on Thu Apr 25, 2013 6:52 pm

Kiran is not a true friend. A true friend would have warned me! It was really gross. And wrong. And bad. And...dude. I'm now watching the princess bride as a palette cleanser.
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Post  Lily Rose on Thu Apr 25, 2013 6:58 pm

It's terrible. A terrrrrrible show. Starring and made by people who should know better. They should all be embarrassed.

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Post  Kiran on Fri Apr 26, 2013 12:38 am

It is horrible and awful and I was hypnotized and watched every episode and will probably watch every episode of a second season of this atrocious piece of shit and so help me, bookworm, so will I.
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Post  Pumpkin Cake on Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:37 pm

Nooo, it's terrible?! I mean, it looked like it would be terrible from the trailer, but I was hoping I'd have a new thing to watch on streaming, because streaming is the best.

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Post  Kiran on Fri Apr 26, 2013 2:39 pm

It's terrible but I loved it. Hot mess.
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Post  bookworm on Fri Apr 26, 2013 4:06 pm

I believe every review I've seen has given it an F. I felt embarrassed for the cast.
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Post  Kiran on Fri Apr 26, 2013 5:02 pm

You have no appreciation for train wrecks.
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Post  Eris Rising on Fri Apr 26, 2013 5:33 pm

Couldn't make it through even the first half of the first episode. Terrible all the way around.
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Post  bookworm on Fri Apr 26, 2013 5:39 pm

At least Kiran isn't making you watch season two, Eris. :P
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Post  Eris Rising on Fri Apr 26, 2013 5:58 pm

bookworm wrote:At least Kiran isn't making you watch season two, Eris. :P

She'd have to nail me to the floor and wire my eyes open. And even that would be a pleasant distraction in comparison.
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Post  aninnocent on Sat Apr 27, 2013 8:03 pm

I think I need someone to explain what I just watched. First of many questions is why did he need so much bacon fat?

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Post  bookworm on Sat Apr 27, 2013 9:02 pm

I KNOW. WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT.
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Post  aninnocent on Sun Apr 28, 2013 3:27 am

Not only did he make Roman render fat for half a day only to use a handful, I am completely lost on the point of him having his face taken off anyway. How was that a plan? This was all I could think about until the last two eps when NOTHING made sense. It was almost comforting.

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Post  Menshevixen on Thu May 09, 2013 9:57 am

I finally finished this stupid show last night and I am so glad, so GLAD that now I can just go back to watching Fringe. Man, House of Cards was good and Hemlock Grove was awful but the Netflix Original Series so far both have one thing in common: I didn't enjoy watching either of them. I like a good trainwreck but this was just...bad.
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Post  Raised by wolves on Fri May 24, 2013 10:19 am

OK, I just watched this and I feel like the only critical comment I can make is the Xander: How? What? How?

The how is -- how can you take a novel that's 336 pages and make a 13 HOUR TV SHOW THAT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING SENSE WHATSOEVER?

The what is -- all of it. What does Christina being a self-made deranged werewolf have to do with Roman impregnating his cousin/possibly half-sister that makes him care about helping Peter the werewolf and involves a Judeo-Christian MacGuffin and suddenly in the last 10 minutes of those 13 hours there's vampires that can commit suicide by slicing off their human tail and not only where did Shelley go but how did she even know to show up at the church to hulk out on the Christina werewolf and finally the bacon fat. Really that's what it takes to turn without full moon? Cause if that's true I want a T-shirt that says, DON'T FEAR THE FULL MOON. FEAR THE BACON FAT.

And the other how is how do I get that 13 hours of my life back.

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Post  sen3 on Sat Jun 01, 2013 2:15 pm

I finished a few days ago. What a slog that was. But I found it to be a good blend of stupid, bad and wtf-ery. I'm just gong to list stuff.

- The Bacon Fat
- Glowy Shelley was kind of awesome, I don't care that I never learned what the hell she was
- Olivia drives a giant glammed out black pick-up truck, instead of a zippy euro-car like I would have expected
- There's a giant skyscraper in a tiny town
- You can become a werewolf by licking the pawprints of one
- Peter's cousin was pretty cool
- Dualla from Battlestar Galactica was so ridiculous! I never knew what she was talking about half the time. Her dialog was so very bad!
- Terrible bromancing between Peter and Roman. Come on!
- Jean Gray and almost-Wolverine sexing in every scene together
- The shallow but loyal twins were sweet
- Always with the vampires
- Many of the same people that made this make Hannibal
- I will watch a second season

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Post  themis on Wed Feb 05, 2014 7:01 pm

You guys, I . . . I loved it. It was . . . so full of yes. I will watch season two. And I don't even think the actors involved have anything to be ashamed of -! I hoped they had fun doing this. Now, the Twilight cast, they KNOW that was shite. Hemlock Grove had problems, and there was some shite, but in whole - awesome! This turned out to be the healing balm that made up for not only Twilight, and wondering if half the damn world had lost their mind, but the incredible freefalling letdown that Twin Peaks turned out to be. And, people, I lived through Twin Peaks, live, the first time around-! I re-watched it on streaming about a year ago to see if it had started to make sense, or if I needed a quarter century of marination to finally 'get' it, and my only conclusion was that David Lynch probably hates his fans. But - seen through the filter of expectations of crushing mediocrity, this went far above my expectations. Hell, I think I liked it better than House of Cards.

So, yes:
1) The church scene is soooooo ridiculous.
2) When a show credits eight screens of executive producers, you know there are gonna be problems.
3) You know this is an Eli Roth joint going in. As someone who would prefer a root canal than to see Hostel again, I approached this series with a WHOLE LOT of trepidation. But - I think this was redemptive, on the whole. The weirdness and sensational graphic-ness worked for me here.
4) I bought the bromance. But, Peter and his neckbeard: not very appealing to this girl.
5) Yay for sex and profanity.
6) Episode 2: best werewolf change scene I have ever seen, and I think I have seen the vast majority of them.
7) I watched the whole thing twice.

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Post  Raised by wolves on Mon May 04, 2015 1:23 am

My Daredevil binge-watch made me give Netflix the benefit of the doubt so I watched season 2 of HG and had to dig up this thread.  HO.LEE.SHIT. Just like the last series the last episode is totally bananas.

Spoiler:
The kindly pediatrician turns into a demon and flies away with Roman's baby who is the anti-Christ?
 I think?  Is that what happened?  Just like S1, they told one story for the first 9 and a half episodes and then the ending is a bizarre mess.

The first season was meh so I obviously didn't rush into watching this one, but if there's a season 3, I'm gonna watch it just to see if they can do it a third time.

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