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Re: Facebook

Post  punzy on Wed May 07, 2014 11:23 am

Ugh that sucks. My cousin did that when my Grandpa died. My Mom had been waiting to call my sister and me until after we got home from work. I'm sorry for your family's loss and that he found out through facebook.

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Re: Facebook

Post  Swarley on Wed May 07, 2014 12:46 pm

That's super weird! My husband found out over the weekend that his 95 year old grandmother is in the hospital with pneumonia/congestive heart failure through Facebook. Are our husbands related?!

My husband's grandmother is still holding on though death seems imminent. She's only receiving pain meds. I suspect when she dies we'll find out through Facebook.

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Re: Facebook

Post  Regina Filangie on Wed May 07, 2014 5:36 pm

I have a friend that posted a large and quite graphic picture of her freshly stitched hysterectomy incision. Another felt the need to tell all of his FB friends that he was constipated. I learned two things from this: 1. people share way too much on social media 2. I need new friends.

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Re: Facebook

Post  bookworm on Wed May 07, 2014 6:07 pm

I admit that my family got mad at me when I posted something about my grandmother breaking her back while we were on vacation. I had forgotten that some of my family were also my friends on facebook. They will never left me live it down, either. It was one time!
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Re: Facebook

Post  Sheli on Thu May 08, 2014 11:17 am

Swarley wrote:That's super weird!  My husband found out over the weekend that his 95 year old grandmother is in the hospital with pneumonia/congestive heart failure through Facebook.  Are our husbands related?!

I doubt they're related, as my husband's grandmother was younger, but it would be cool to have Snarker in-laws! Sorry about his grandmother. I hope you guys are kept better informed from now on.

Thanks, punzy, for the sympathy and for letting me know we're not the only ones! Sorry you had to find out like that too.

bookworm, you were probably in shock about the back injury!  I think you should be forgiven by now.  Too bad I'm not in charge of your family to make them agree to drop it!

And Regina Filangie, I don't know.  Your Friends are pretty cool.  My favorite is Chandler.  [/lame joke]

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Re: Facebook

Post  Author By Night on Sun May 11, 2014 5:53 pm

Sheli wrote:

And Regina Filangie, I don't know.  Your Friends are pretty cool.  My favorite is Chandler.  [/lame joke]

Where else but SF can we make fun jokes like that, though?

I had a friend who actually disowned a family member on Facebook. It was bad... they were yelling at one another on her wall. It was so awkward and awful, and they both came off as idiotic. Why would you do that?

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Re: Facebook

Post  mokey75 on Tue Jul 01, 2014 12:16 pm

I am about to get unfriended by someone on FB for unleashing on them for posting a fourth fucking status update in three days about how she could NEVER forget her child in a hot car, and how could anyone who gave a shit about their kid do such a thing?!?!  I couldn't take it anymore, and reminded her that's her privilege talking, and she should count her lucky stars that she's never been so distracted by something (insomnia, bills, a fight with a spouse, a boss riding her ass about being late again, etc etc) that this has happened to her.

I'm sure the response will be how I don't have kids, so I couldn't possibly understand, but sweet baby jeebus, WE GET IT. You're an awesome mom.
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Re: Facebook

Post  Carrie Ann on Tue Jul 01, 2014 1:21 pm

Ugh. Of course we all think that, and most of us are right because it will never happen to us, thank God. But the people it does happen to are good parents too. Have you by chance linked her to the Pulitzer-winning WaPo article from 2009 on how this happens? That article is absolutely terrifying and devastating (so much so that The Awl (I think) linked it a few times calling it "That Article We Do Not Talk About" or something like that), but it really opened my eyes when I read it a few years ago. And I actually do the thing they suggest, which is to put my purse and diaper bag in the back seat as an extra check to be sure I can't forget that my daughter is there.
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Re: Facebook

Post  mokey75 on Tue Jul 01, 2014 2:23 pm

Oh, someone else linked that WaPo article in one of her other posts - she still didn't get it. She couldn't possibly believe it could happen to anyone unless they didn't give a shit, or were deliberately trying to hurt their child. *headdesk*
I just think about how many times I am so tired that I can't remember at the end of my shower whether or not I'd washed my hair at the beginning, or the fact that there are literally entire parts of my commute that I zone out on, and I get it. It's terrifying to think that you could possibly do such a thing, I know. But to throw your head in the sand and act like you're so much better than every single other person on earth makes me crazy. And then to keep freaking harping on it! Have some compassion for goodness sake, ugh.
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Re: Facebook

Post  QueenSix on Tue Jul 01, 2014 6:48 pm

I remember talking to my cousin after she had her baby and she said that there were times she forgot the kid was in the car because she'd be sleeping in the car seat in the back and my cousin would be concentrating on the route or traffic or she'd be thinking about the place she'd be driving to. She said she was terrified that she'd forget the child was in the car when she'd get out and that that fear lasted a year. Now she knows she's there because she's front facing and either talking or making noise. But yeah, there but for the grace of God go any of us in a situation like that. I wouldn't be judging unless someone is an ass and deliberately leaves the child there which is a whole other issue.

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Re: Facebook

Post  Unlucky Bear on Tue Jul 01, 2014 11:24 pm

Weingarten won a Pulitzer for that piece, I believe. It is heart-wrenching.

I have a couple of those mommier-than-thou parents on my FB feed and I want to strangle them sometimes when they're posting about how they would NEVER do this or that or the other thing. Hell, I don't have kids and sometimes I'll get halfway out the door before I remember I didn't brush my teeth or something. I could totally see myself forgetting to take my kid to daycare or something, because I'm only human (and kind of absent-minded even on a good day). The day I get pregnant is the day I start keeping my purse in the backseat for just this reason.
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Re: Facebook

Post  mayram on Thu Jul 03, 2014 9:35 pm

Sheli wrote:Hey, am I the only one who didn't know that when you edit a comment on Facebook, the entire history of your edits including the content of each version is visible for anyone to see?  I knew that if you edited a comment, it said, "Edited" next to the time the comment was left. But I didn't realize that if you click "Edited" it brings you to a comment history where you see the text and time of the original comment and the edited comment (and each version, if you edited more than once!). I only found out because when moving my mouse around the computer, I happened to leave it hovering over "Edited" on someone's comment thread, completely by chance.  

Maybe everyone else knew this already, but I didn't.  I thought once you edited it, only the people who saw it BEFORE the edit knew the original content. I probably shouldn't be surprised because Facebook is awful. And it's not like I expected total privacy. But I didn't know people could see each stupid typo/rephrasing/regret about sounding harsh edit that I made. That sucks.

So, my shameful FB confession is that while I was appalled by this revelation back when it was posted here, and am still officially on record as appalled... I'm also completely fascinated by it and am WAY too quick to click on that "edited" link to see what the original said.

Much of the time it's pretty mundane, spelling errors and such. BUT sometimes, it's totally juicy and interesting to see what people edited out. I'm such a hypocrite, I don't want anyone seeing what *I* edited out, but I'm right there when it comes to checking out what they edited.

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Re: Facebook

Post  Morning Angel on Thu Jul 03, 2014 11:18 pm

mayram wrote:
Sheli wrote:Hey, am I the only one who didn't know that when you edit a comment on Facebook, the entire history of your edits including the content of each version is visible for anyone to see?  I knew that if you edited a comment, it said, "Edited" next to the time the comment was left. But I didn't realize that if you click "Edited" it brings you to a comment history where you see the text and time of the original comment and the edited comment (and each version, if you edited more than once!). I only found out because when moving my mouse around the computer, I happened to leave it hovering over "Edited" on someone's comment thread, completely by chance.  

Maybe everyone else knew this already, but I didn't.  I thought once you edited it, only the people who saw it BEFORE the edit knew the original content. I probably shouldn't be surprised because Facebook is awful. And it's not like I expected total privacy. But I didn't know people could see each stupid typo/rephrasing/regret about sounding harsh edit that I made. That sucks.

So, my shameful FB confession is that while I was appalled by this revelation back when it was posted here, and am still officially on record as appalled... I'm also completely fascinated by it and am WAY too quick to click on that "edited" link to see what the original said.

Much of the time it's pretty mundane, spelling errors and such. BUT sometimes, it's totally juicy and interesting to see what people edited out. I'm such a hypocrite, I don't want anyone seeing what *I* edited out, but I'm right there when it comes to checking out what they edited.

I didn't know this. This is the kind of stuff that has people calling Facebook evil. Tsk.
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Re: Facebook

Post  mandalaya on Fri Jul 04, 2014 11:22 am

I guess the way around it is just to delete the post or comment outright, and repost it corrected if you still want to? Or will FB rat me out on that too?

The leaving a kid in the back seat thing...I don't have kids but I can totally imagine doing this, given the number of times I've gotten out of the car or the house having completely forgotten something like, y'know, my cat that I was bringing back from the vet. Happily, any times there's a living being involved, I've realized it quickly, but I haven't had extreme fatigue or stress to blame, just normal daily stress and thinking about what I need to do next. I've seen an article on FB that suggests leaving one shoe in the back seat, because you may forget your purse and some folks - perhaps most dads - may not carry a bag regularly, but you're not going to walk away from your car with one shoe.
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Re: Facebook

Post  Sheli on Fri Jul 04, 2014 10:39 pm

mandalaya wrote:I guess the way around it is just to delete the post or comment outright, and repost it corrected if you still want to? Or will FB rat me out on that too?

That's what I'd do now if I regretted a post and didn't want anyone to see the edit, but I never would have thought to do that before I realized the edit history was visible to all.  It's an easy enough work-around but you need to know there's a problem in order to bother working around it, you know?  I am guessing that many people edit comments without realizing everyone can see the original.  And the only people being careful about it are those who know people can see the original, and who are also the sneaky buggers who are checking other people's edit histories!  Sneaky buggers like mayram... and me.  Since I totally do that too, now that I know.  Usually only when it's a slightly juicy topic but sometimes just for the hell of it.

Meanwhile, I do have a kid and I totally once got four steps away from my car in the Dollar Tree parking lot before remembering that she was sleeping soundly in the backseat.  I ran back and grabbed her carseat and then tried to nonchalantly head back toward the store without seeming like the Worst Mother Ever.  So I guess I'd lose the Facebook Mommy Wars.

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Re: Facebook

Post  eventide82 on Sun Jul 06, 2014 8:31 pm

I once arrived home from grocery shopping, unloaded all the bags inside the house, put my handbag down, took off my coat and locked the front door behind me and my husband was sitting on the couch. He just looked and me and said "...ummmm, you forgot our daughter?" I have never raced out to the car so fast in my life. She was sleeping soundly as well, and was only in there alone for about thirty seconds, but I felt like someone was going to immediately show up and revoke my motherhood status. It's not a great feeling.
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Re: Facebook

Post  Gillian on Tue Sep 16, 2014 8:36 pm

Facebook has started sending me notifications when people who aren't me upload photos I am not in. And by notifications, I mean the little blue globe icon gets one of those little red numbers, my phone does not vibrate or sound an alarm or anything. This may sound deeply self-involved, but I'm only interested in notifications that have something to do with me! If someone tags me in something or posts something on my wall or comments on something I've commented on, great, notify me. But when someone I went to high school with uploads a Someecard, or an old coworker uploads an inspirational message about the beauty of prayer, I really don't need to be notified. That's what the news feed is for. Is this happening to anyone else? Does anyone know how to make it stop?

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Re: Facebook

Post  snorf on Tue Sep 16, 2014 8:47 pm

It's been happening to me as well! I thought I'd done something to the settings, but now I'm wondering if facebook have "helpfully" changed them for us.

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Re: Facebook

Post  Gillian on Tue Sep 16, 2014 9:27 pm

It's not just me! Last night I went into the notification settings on the actual website and turned off "close friends activity" under "What you get notified about." I really hoped that would do the trick, but I still got a couple today, so I guess it didn't.

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Re: Facebook

Post  punkysdilemma on Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:06 pm

Ah jeez, it's Elf on the Shelf season time. I don't know why that grates on me so much, but it does. Time to hide some people again.
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Re: Facebook

Post  laddical on Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:10 pm

Thankfully, almost all of my Friends list hates the Elf on the Shelf, and those that don't either don't care or don't post anything related to it.
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Re: Facebook

Post  Tabby on Tue Dec 02, 2014 6:26 pm

Ah jeez, it's Elf on the Shelf season time. I don't know why that grates on me so much, but it does. Time to hide some people again.
Thank goodness, there's only one person in my Facebook feed who does that Elf idiocy (a cousin). And none of my Jewish friends have decided to get on the bandwagon with this.
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Re: Facebook

Post  mokey75 on Tue Dec 02, 2014 6:35 pm

Me too, punky. I don't mind the occasional picture here and there, but there are at least a couple of people on my feed who post every. damn. day. Listen, girl I went to college with 20 years ago, I barely care about you or your kid, never mind your kid's stupid elf. UNFOLLOW.
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Re: Facebook

Post  mialoubug on Wed Dec 03, 2014 1:12 pm

mokey75 wrote:Me too, punky. I don't mind the occasional picture here and there, but there are at least a couple of people on my feed who post every. damn. day.  Listen, girl I went to college with 20 years ago, I barely care about you or your kid, never mind your kid's stupid elf.  UNFOLLOW.

This was the diatribe from someone on my list yesterday. All quotes accurate:

Thank you 5th grader for ruining the innocence of MY child! Was it really necessary for you to tell him there was NO SANTA and that his parents move his elves? He has now ruined for my 4th grader as well. So thank you for taking that from him. Just three days ago here had such a spark In his eye when his elves returned. That spark is gone! THANK YOU

So her kids are 11 and 9. Isn't that old on the believing in Santa group? And are those stupid assholish elves really that important?
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Re: Facebook

Post  Eris Rising on Wed Dec 03, 2014 5:50 pm

mialoubug wrote:
mokey75 wrote:Me too, punky. I don't mind the occasional picture here and there, but there are at least a couple of people on my feed who post every. damn. day.  Listen, girl I went to college with 20 years ago, I barely care about you or your kid, never mind your kid's stupid elf.  UNFOLLOW.

This was the diatribe from someone on my list yesterday.  All quotes accurate:

Thank you 5th grader for ruining the innocence of MY child! Was it really necessary for you to tell him there was NO SANTA and that his parents move his elves? He has now ruined for my 4th grader as well. So thank you for taking that from him. Just three days ago here had such a spark In his eye when his elves returned. That spark is gone! THANK YOU

So her kids are 11 and 9.  Isn't that old on the believing in Santa group?  And are those stupid assholish elves really that important?

9 is on the high end, 11 reaches Rod and Todd Flanders levels of naivete.
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Re: Facebook

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