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Celebrity Dumb Quotes

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Post  particle_person Sun Apr 14, 2013 2:07 pm

(Not that this doesn't fit here equally well, but there is a parallel discussion going on in the Bieber thread.)
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Post  lisa Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:20 pm

I'm not sure whether this properly belongs here or in Celebrities I Hate, but Amanda Palmer's "Poem for Dzhokhar" really has to be read to be believed, as it's one extended Dumb Quote.

Excerpt:

you don’t know how to tell the girl in the chair next to you that you’ve been peeking at her dissertation draft and there’s a grammatical typo in the actual file name.

you don’t know how to explain yourself.

you don’t want two percent but it’s all they have.

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Post  Cynara Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:32 pm

That is...uh, I'm gonna settle on "ill-considered." Apart from any other issue, it's clearly more about her than it is about him. Which is kind of par for the course with Amanda Palmer, from what I've seen.

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Post  Carrie Ann Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:33 pm

I just hate her so much, and I really struggle to understand why people love her. If she's not spouting just offensively terrible things like this, then it's less offensive faux-intellectual bullshit. Someone explain the love she gets, please!

I mean, this might be just the worst:
you don’t know how to make sense of this massive parade. [...] you don’t know how come people run their goddamn knees into the ground anyway.
I get that she thinks she's putting herself in the mind of a young person who did something terrible and she's buying into this storyline of the younger brother blindly following his big brother. But, seriously? Really? The first part of that is ridiculous. He's not a tiny child - he's a college kid - and he grew up here. He can make sense of a fucking parade, you vapid idiot. Part 2 is so ill-considered - way to make light of the way they targeted a group of people trying to test themselves and achieve something, and their loved ones there to support them.

ETA: Ha - "ill-considered" is obviously the collective response, Cynara.
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Post  Lily Rose Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:45 pm

I also hate her so very much, even more so since she's now Tweeted that we just don't get her brilliance:
now that everybody's panties are in a twist, i'd like to say: the poem is actually about more than you think it is. read it again.

In conclusion: haaaaaate.

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Post  Melk Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:54 pm

Lord, she really thinks she is so much cleverer than she actually is. My principal issue with the poem isn't even it's ridiculous naivety or its embarrassingly transparent desire to attract attention via 'controversy' - it's that it's just a crap poem. Badly written, badly paced, with as much emotional depth as a turnip. It reminds me of the kind of stuff you used to see cranked out constantly on livejournal about ten years ago by emo teenagers, except the subject matter then was usually that their parents didn't understand their love of My Chemical Romance.
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Post  Poubelle Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:59 pm

the poem is actually about more than you think it is.
If nobody can understand your point, you need to rewrite. English teachers can say this because they are talking about stuff other people wrote. And usually ideas that have been widely discussed before they ever got to a high school/college classroom. Saying this about your own work just makes you look self-involved and unable to accept criticism/critique.*

*admittedly, Ms. Palmer has already made herself look like this many times
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Post  ActonBell Mon Apr 22, 2013 4:04 pm

I just hate her so much, and I really struggle to understand why people love her. If she's not spouting just offensively terrible things like this, then it's less offensive faux-intellectual bullshit. Someone explain the love she gets, please!

I don't understand it myself. She has violently rabid fans, and I don't understand why -- she's sexist, ableist, and manages to turn the focus on herself every chance she gets. I think she's a vile person.
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Post  Genevieve Mon Apr 22, 2013 4:13 pm

If she wants to write horrible poetry -fine. But when you share your poetry, you have to accept that there will be critics, and maybe consider the critics might be right.
I read it two or three times (because I am a masochist.) and I can't even say, "you skim well...."
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Post  Heather Mon Apr 22, 2013 4:24 pm

The two dumbest comebacks are "You're just jealous" and "You just don't GET IT then." She is the worst.

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Post  Instant Monkeys Mon Apr 22, 2013 5:20 pm

But it's so edgy because she is the only person who thought to get inside the mind of the bomber. Literally, the only person who has had that thought. It has not occurred to anyone else that Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is a young human being with thoughts and feelings and maybe is not just 100% a monolith of cartoonish terrorist evil. She is really radical, deep, punk rock and insightful for thinking that. The reason this poem is Alanis Morissette-style sixth-grade-diary list-making is that it is very raw and from the soul. And it's about more than you think. Like, when she says "you don't know why you let that guy go without shooting him dead and stuffing him in some bushes between cambridge and watertown" she actually means that the poem's protagonist (IT'S IN SECOND PERSON Y'ALL) is wondering if it would have made more sense to kill the guy whose car they hijacked and and stuff him in some bushes between Cambridge and Watertown. (IT'S IN ALL LOWERCASE Y'ALL) There are layers of meaning.

This is possibly the worst poem by an adult that I have ever read.
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Post  Kiran Mon Apr 22, 2013 5:27 pm

The timing is just appalling too. You know she chose this timing for maximum controversy.

I feel awful saying this, but I really have thought progressively less and less of Neil Gaiman since he married her. I still think hes a great writer but now I think hes also having a gothy version of a midlife crisis.
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Post  ActonBell Mon Apr 22, 2013 5:33 pm

I feel awful saying this, but I really have thought progressively less and less of Neil Gaiman since he married her. I still think hes a great writer but now I think hes also having a gothy version of a midlife crisis.

I love his writing and am very much looking forward to The Ocean at the End of the Lane, but she's so awful that I can't help but wonder about him.
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Post  mayram Mon Apr 22, 2013 5:34 pm

They're not from celebrities, but there are many, many, many dumb quotes to be found in the comments under that piece of shit as well. Yikes.

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Post  choubetcha Mon Apr 22, 2013 5:43 pm

The poem itself doesn't rile me one way or another, but the RESPONSES to the criticism are so insanely sanctimonious from both her and her fans. Her twitter is maybe even worse than the comments. Last night, she retweeted something like "empathy isn't about the other person, it's about you." I'm pretty sure the actual DEFINITION of empathy is that it's about the other person. Or the tweet that drove me here just now, which was her RTing that "The only way terrorists can commit the acts they do is if they dehumanize their victims. We do that, we are the same."

No. We are not. The only thing that makes you the same as a terrorist is BEING A TERRORIST. Throwing around that you're like a terrorist just because you don't like a poem is REALLY SHITTY and so amazingly disrespectful that I can't even see straight.

What is infuriating about the responses is the way they conflate not liking her poem for one reason or another with being a soulless villain with no compassion. It's possible to have empathy and still not like the poem, whether because you thought it was bad or because you felt it was inappropriately timed or whatever. It's also possible not to have empathy for someone who did terrible things and still not be a terrible person. There are many ways to think about morality, but none of them hinge on your opinion of someone's literary output.

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Post  PrincessCleo Mon Apr 22, 2013 5:59 pm

Kiran, were you the one who said that she reminded you of a friend who was so desperate for attention that she put a KFC bucket on her head one time? Because that's all I can ever think of when I see Amanda Palmer's name. "Seriously (chicken bucket)."
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Post  Putli Bai Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:06 pm

My only knowledge of Amanda Palmer comes from you guys - I couldn't pick her out of a line-up, or recognize anything she's done or written. And I still think she's an ass.
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Post  Kiran Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:17 pm

Yes that was me. Shes always reminded me of this friend I was in drama with in high school who was so desperate for both attention and to be percieved as edgy and outre that after a rehearsal for Annie she took the KFC bucket that we had JUST finished eating from, put it on her head and danced around and then insisted on wearing the bucket the entire day, while she rehearsed the role of Tuffy because the bucket was part of her and how dare we stifle her.

Amanda Palmer is the grown up pseudo celeb version of that. And I'm no longer on a steady diet of marijuana so I can't deal with her type anymore.

Remember when Coraline was nominated for an oscar and she got naked on the red carpet? Or the time she faked a suicide attempt to get her boyfriend off drugs, recorded his freak out, and then we he ACTUALLY committed suicide, incorporated it into her act?

I really hate her guys. I don't hate very many people but she strikes me as totally coldblooded and mercenary in her way. Like I can picture her thinking OOH WHAT WILL GET ME THE MOST ATTENTION and picking this, and picking this time RIGHT after it happens.
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Post  PrincessCleo Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:21 pm

On behalf of particle_person, I am here to link "Poem for Amanda Palmer." *MIC DROP*
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Post  mrinsouciance Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:27 pm

She sounds pretty damn pathetic to me.

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Post  The Glen Mon Apr 22, 2013 7:08 pm

I had to laugh at the donate button underneath the poem. You know that'll go to a worthy cause.

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Post  pinguerin Mon Apr 22, 2013 7:10 pm

It's rare that I invoke this privilege, but I actually have a PhD in English, and in my professional opinion, that poem stinks like a fish stuffed into a heating duct and left for a month. My frosh write better than that and many of them are still in "if I dump my feeeeeeelings on the paaaaage then it's a poooooem" mode. (I am not trying to mock them. They usually get better. Ms. Palmer, well...)

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Post  Crowbridge Mon Apr 22, 2013 7:15 pm

Putli Bai wrote:My only knowledge of Amanda Palmer comes from you guys - I couldn't pick her out of a line-up, or recognize anything she's done or written. And I still think she's an ass.
Same here. I don't like Neil Gaiman, but I know she's married to him, and in a band? Or something? Oh, and I know that she is a self-absorbed, overgrown emo kid. That's about it.

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Post  Genevieve Mon Apr 22, 2013 7:26 pm

pinguerin wrote:It's rare that I invoke this privilege, but I actually have a PhD in English, and in my professional opinion, that poem stinks like a fish stuffed into a heating duct and left for a month. My frosh write better than that and many of them are still in "if I dump my feeeeeeelings on the paaaaage then it's a poooooem" mode. (I am not trying to mock them. They usually get better. Ms. Palmer, well...)

This makes me feel better. If the professionals are wincing, then I know all is right with the world. I thank you.
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Post  laddical Mon Apr 22, 2013 7:31 pm

PrincessCleo, the only way that could be more perfect is if they'd put a "donate" button at the bottom (with suggested minimum $5.00 contribution to some "Save the Brainless Celebs From Themselves Society").
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