Justin Bieber

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Post  swsa on Wed Apr 03, 2013 4:59 pm

Yes, I am actually starting a topic for Justin Bieber. Because I really need to rant about this monkey situation.
Justin Bieber has four weeks to rescue his monkey. German officials have given the singer until the end of the month to reclaim Mally, his 14-week-old capuchin monkey, which was seized by customs agents last week.

So far, Bieber hasn't been much of a friend to his erstwhile pet. The monkey was found on Thursday, when Bieber's jet landed in Munich. According to German customs officials, the singer wasn't carrying the documentation required to bring the animal into the country. Mally was put in quarantine pending the submission of health papers that would allow his release.
"[The monkey was] apparently taken away from its mother when it was between nine and 10 weeks old. This is much too early … Those who were looking after it should have known."

Neither Bieber nor his representatives have contacted the animal sanctuary, officials say. But several zoos have been in touch, offering to give Mally a new home if the monkey's delinquent former caretaker returns to Los Angeles without him.
Monkeys should not be pets. And taking one from it's mother too early so that it will be clingier with you is absolutely cruel. I'm seriously so bothered by this. I hope they find a new home for him, since I'm sure if Bieber bothers to get him back, the brat will just get bored by it after a couple weeks anyway.
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Post  particle_person on Wed Apr 03, 2013 5:22 pm

Wow. SRSLY MONKEY. [This comment only exists so I could make that joke.]

Yeah, that sounds pretty assy. I hope the monkey survives this and makes it to one of the zoos (if that's the the best that can be done).

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Post  Putli Bai on Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:11 pm

He'd just wind up giving it a fan, anyways.
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Post  maxell131313 on Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:22 pm

Normally, I'm not one to want to sic PETA on anyone as I have absolutely no respect for that organization, but they need to get on this one, pronto. PETA vs. Bieber fans could be an epic war.
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Post  Arabella on Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:27 pm

A pet monkey? Who does he think he is, Michael Jackson?

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Post  Snarryfan on Wed Apr 03, 2013 10:17 pm

The most important question: Was the monkey in a basketball?

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Post  ActonBell on Thu Apr 04, 2013 12:14 pm

Ah, that will always be one of my favorite SVU episodes.
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Post  mandalaya on Fri Apr 05, 2013 4:36 pm

This makes me surprisingly sad. I understand wanting a pet along with you on tour, but why not a dog, since they seem most likely to be able to weather the stresses and most assistants have a clue about how to take care of them? Poor Mally, it's probably the best thing for her that she was confiscated. I hope she stays somewhere they'll take good care of her. I'm also concerned about the hamster Bieber gave away. What did the fan do with it in the moment? Did it even get back to her home alive?
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Post  Instant Monkeys on Fri Apr 05, 2013 4:55 pm

He is such an idiot. You don't just give a teenager a hamster at a concert FFS.

I hope he never gets that monkey back. Hasn't this kid ever heard of a freaking savings account? I know you have money coming out your ass, but do you HAVE to spend it on stupid shit like a monkey? I guarantee he thinks the whole thing is a hilarious lark and he bought the monkey 99% so he could tell people he has a monkey and then high-five them. NO ONE LOVES MONKEYS MORE THAN I DO and I would NEVER have one as a pet. For God's sake. And I guarantee I would take better care of it than Justin freaking Bieber.

Sorry, I'm in a mood. By the way, I ALSO immediately thought of the monkey in the basketball. Obviously Justin Bieber is TOO DUMB TO KNOW HOW TO SNEAK A MONKEY THROUGH CUSTOMS.
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Post  dinahmoe on Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:10 pm

Since this happened in Germany, I'm just going to assume it's a set-up for some elaborate "Sprockets" joke.
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Post  ActonBell on Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:33 pm

I'm also concerned about the hamster Bieber gave away. What did the fan do with it in the moment? Did it even get back to her home alive?

The hamster died. A lot of the Bieber fans tried to handwave that by saying that hamsters don't live that long, but I think all of the stress that was placed on this animal with the changing environments probably wasn't helpful.
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Post  Putli Bai on Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:05 pm

Didn't one of the boys in Du Jour (from the Josie and the Pussycats movie have a pet monkey? Google refuses to find me a picture.

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Post  mandalaya on Sat Apr 06, 2013 4:56 pm

Well, the hamster lasted four months after the handoff, so the fan may not have given it the best care, but it didn't die in the immediate handoff or particularly soon thereafter, so I am comforted by that. Poor hamster, phenomenally lame Bieber.
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Post  Raised by wolves on Sat Apr 06, 2013 5:39 pm

Didn't one of the boys in Du Jour (from the Josie and the Pussycats movie have a pet monkey?
Yup. IIRC his name was Dr. Zaius. Du Jour means friendship!

In the 60s my great aunt had a pet monkey and according to family legend the thing was a holy terror that she eventually had to give up because it bit, destroyed everything it could get its monkey hands on and was mean as hell. She gave it to a sanctuary eventually but she did once bring it to one of her sister's houses for a very disastrous visit. Aunt Frieda bitched about "Elinor and her damned monkey" to the day she died at the age of 94.

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Post  Shadowlass on Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:55 pm

Heh. My great-aunt also had a hellacious monkey! It was so awful that my mother, who may have been history's greatest animal lover, hated the thing and wouldn't go near it.

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Post  swsa on Sun Apr 14, 2013 12:10 pm

The real tragedy of Anne Frank? That she never had a chance to be a Belieber.
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Post  Melk on Sun Apr 14, 2013 12:18 pm

I've known a few people who seemed like they could make anything about them, but this kid doesn't just take the cake he ransacks the whole damn bakery.
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Post  Crowbridge on Sun Apr 14, 2013 12:34 pm

That kid is a taint.

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Post  Eris Rising on Sun Apr 14, 2013 12:51 pm

Ooh, damn, thought I was the first to get to that one. Put it in "Dumb Quotes", but really, it can't be spread around enough.
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Post  laddical on Sun Apr 14, 2013 1:13 pm

Words fail me. Wish they would fail him for the rest of his life.
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Post  The Glen on Sun Apr 14, 2013 1:21 pm

I was coming here to post that too. My guess is that he really has no idea who Anne Frank was and his P.R. team set up the visit as damage control given his recent antics. That backfired.

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Post  Putli Bai on Sun Apr 14, 2013 1:33 pm

I saw this topic lit up, and immediately though: "What has he done this time?"

He's turning into Lindsey Lohan. Except even she may have more sense than that.
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Post  Gilraen on Sun Apr 14, 2013 1:58 pm

I just saw this, my jaw literally dropped, and I ran over to snarkfest. I really didn't think he'd be able to top the monkey. Talk about buying into your own hype.

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Post  Jude on Sun Apr 14, 2013 3:31 pm

That boy ain't right (tm my grandmother).

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Post  maxell131313 on Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:59 pm

The stupid, it burns!
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