Interesting News Items
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Re: Interesting News Items
I read that whole thing last night and I can't even comprehend it. Who are these people? No wonder so many countries don't want to adopt to Americans anymore.
I had a long thing written and it was getting rambly and overwrought so I'll just say instead, in my opinion you can't go into the lifelong commitment of adopting a child with the attitude of "I want to be a good person/save someone in need." It has to be "I want a child and I want to take that child as my own and raise him/her no matter what." I just have the awful feeling that for many of these people the kids didn't act grateful enough for being "saved" and when they had kid problems, that kids have, especially emotionally disturbed kids who came out of a traumatic situation, the parents felt like it wasn't part of the bargain. I'm not saying this isn't an impossible situation -- I could NEVER parent a kid with RAD or something similar. I think that's one of the most heartbreaking situations a parent can possibly be faced with, to have a child that cannot bond with them no matter how much love they give. And I'm sure there are parents who are genuinely out of their depth with an extremely difficult child that they didn't expect because they were misled by the adoption service and have no help and are at the end of their rope, and I don't know WHAT they should do; social services for children in this country are tragically broken in so many ways. But I also get the sense that there's a certain amount in some cases of "this poor orphan that I took into my home doesn't want my help? Well, then you don't get it, you lost your chance, the deal's off." Which is power-trippy and takes on a whole other creepy dimension when you're talking about kids from other countries and/or children of color who are with white parents. Ugh, it just all makes my stomach turn.
I had a long thing written and it was getting rambly and overwrought so I'll just say instead, in my opinion you can't go into the lifelong commitment of adopting a child with the attitude of "I want to be a good person/save someone in need." It has to be "I want a child and I want to take that child as my own and raise him/her no matter what." I just have the awful feeling that for many of these people the kids didn't act grateful enough for being "saved" and when they had kid problems, that kids have, especially emotionally disturbed kids who came out of a traumatic situation, the parents felt like it wasn't part of the bargain. I'm not saying this isn't an impossible situation -- I could NEVER parent a kid with RAD or something similar. I think that's one of the most heartbreaking situations a parent can possibly be faced with, to have a child that cannot bond with them no matter how much love they give. And I'm sure there are parents who are genuinely out of their depth with an extremely difficult child that they didn't expect because they were misled by the adoption service and have no help and are at the end of their rope, and I don't know WHAT they should do; social services for children in this country are tragically broken in so many ways. But I also get the sense that there's a certain amount in some cases of "this poor orphan that I took into my home doesn't want my help? Well, then you don't get it, you lost your chance, the deal's off." Which is power-trippy and takes on a whole other creepy dimension when you're talking about kids from other countries and/or children of color who are with white parents. Ugh, it just all makes my stomach turn.
Instant Monkeys- Posts : 1783
Join date : 2011-10-21
Re: Interesting News Items
Exactly. There are a lot of gross colonialist/missionary dynamics going on with some of these people. They want to be a savior to an eternally grateful model child and when that doesn't happen, they're just disgusted with the child. Like they were tricked into getting this defective child, and they want a refund.
Especially the ones who went on to have biological children and then their relationship with their adopted child went south. So gross. Or when there was a single incident that seemed to sour the whole relationship, like the adopted child biting or hitting one of their other children. That's what kids do. And if the child does seem to be prone to violence, well that is something that you work on with therapists. If you wanted a perfect little dolly, you should have bought a Cabbage Patch Kid.
Especially the ones who went on to have biological children and then their relationship with their adopted child went south. So gross. Or when there was a single incident that seemed to sour the whole relationship, like the adopted child biting or hitting one of their other children. That's what kids do. And if the child does seem to be prone to violence, well that is something that you work on with therapists. If you wanted a perfect little dolly, you should have bought a Cabbage Patch Kid.
Carrie Ann- Posts : 1232
Join date : 2011-10-23
Age : 43
Location : Minneapolis, MN
Re: Interesting News Items
Nobody -- and I mean NOBODY -- can tell you how hard parenting is and get you to believe it. It is one of the most difficult and challenging yet rewarding things in this world to do. You are raising a person; you are forming a mind; you are in charge of someone and you had better be ready for all the good things, the bad things and the disturbing things that come with that. If you are not, if you don't think you can handle a tantrum, an illness, being late to meetings, cleaning up vomit or blood, having to separate fighters or laying down the law even though it breaks your heart to, then you are not ready to own a pet, let alone raise a child.
When will people learn that children are not property? They are humans, only smaller and less defensive. They learn from adults. When a child is born with problems? They really, really need an adult to guide them, to stand by them, to get them the help they need to get them through the day. What they don't need is another child who turns away from them when all the good and sparkly times aren't around.
I'm absolutely heartsick reading that article. I want to personally punch each and every one of those so-called adults.
When will people learn that children are not property? They are humans, only smaller and less defensive. They learn from adults. When a child is born with problems? They really, really need an adult to guide them, to stand by them, to get them the help they need to get them through the day. What they don't need is another child who turns away from them when all the good and sparkly times aren't around.
I'm absolutely heartsick reading that article. I want to personally punch each and every one of those so-called adults.
mialoubug- Posts : 517
Join date : 2011-10-21
jennlynnster- Posts : 83
Join date : 2011-10-28
Age : 46
Location : Texas
Re: Interesting News Items
That was amazing and sad. The footage of her sisters riding her around on the ottoman was very sweet.
Gallifrey Girl- Posts : 546
Join date : 2011-10-28
Re: Interesting News Items
Shootings at LAX.
The Wolves left this morning for a 3 week vacation and their first destination was LAX. I knew they were safe from the shootings because their flight was still en route when it happened but it was still nerve wracking waiting to hear from them. They just called to say that their connecting flight is finally taking off after a 5 hour delay.
They almost had a head-on collision on the tarmac. The planes are everywhere and instead of boarding at the gates, passengers are getting bused to planes which means along with police cars, fire trucks and luggage carts there are also buses and vans driving all over the tarmac with absolutely no road rules. The Wolves van had a 6 passenger capacity so loading the plane was literally six people at a time. I can't imagine how long that would take.
The Wolves left this morning for a 3 week vacation and their first destination was LAX. I knew they were safe from the shootings because their flight was still en route when it happened but it was still nerve wracking waiting to hear from them. They just called to say that their connecting flight is finally taking off after a 5 hour delay.
They almost had a head-on collision on the tarmac. The planes are everywhere and instead of boarding at the gates, passengers are getting bused to planes which means along with police cars, fire trucks and luggage carts there are also buses and vans driving all over the tarmac with absolutely no road rules. The Wolves van had a 6 passenger capacity so loading the plane was literally six people at a time. I can't imagine how long that would take.
Raised by wolves- Posts : 526
Join date : 2011-11-01
The Glen- Mod Squad
- Posts : 725
Join date : 2011-10-21
Location : Unemployed in Greenland
Re: Interesting News Items
That is terrifying and amazing!
I don't know if anyone else is a true crime junkie but I have been following this case since it first started appearing on Dateline/48 Hours etc. and am delighted that Ryan Ferguson's conviction has been vacated. Hopefully, the state won't appeal.
I don't know if anyone else is a true crime junkie but I have been following this case since it first started appearing on Dateline/48 Hours etc. and am delighted that Ryan Ferguson's conviction has been vacated. Hopefully, the state won't appeal.
biakbiak- Posts : 1454
Join date : 2011-10-24
Re: Interesting News Items
This video is suddenly becoming hot. A June recovery mission to collect bodies from a Nigerian tugboat sunk three days earlier suddenly becomes a rescue mission when they find a man in an air pocket. Here Skip to 5:30 when they find him if you don't want to watch the whole thing. It's quite amazing.
Raised by wolves- Posts : 526
Join date : 2011-11-01
Re: Interesting News Items
OMG its like that episode of the X-Files!
Those poor kids. The neglect is bad enough especially in a country that has free basic medical services but adding in the sexual abuse its just horrifying. I wonder if any family members ever got out?
The NSW Children's Court has taken the rare step of publishing its judgment of actions taken to remove children from the Colt family (a court-appointed pseudonym to protect identification of minors).
Four generations of intimate relations among the Colts had taken place in South Australia, Victoria, Western Australia and finally come to NSW.
Those poor kids. The neglect is bad enough especially in a country that has free basic medical services but adding in the sexual abuse its just horrifying. I wonder if any family members ever got out?
bottle- Posts : 24
Join date : 2011-10-24
Re: Interesting News Items
In the midst of an article about the cold snap, I discovered this little gem.
I just find that quite funny. "Screw freedom, at least prison is warm."Further south in Kentucky, police said an escaped prisoner turned himself in because he was unable to bear the brutally cold weather outside.
Robert Vick escaped from the Blackburn jail on Sunday but turned up at a Lexington motel the next day asking for the police to be called.
A police spokeswoman said Vick wanted to go back to prison because he was so cold, adding that temperatures in the central-eastern state were -20C.
Red Wolf- Posts : 710
Join date : 2011-11-01
Re: Interesting News Items
I don't want to send anyone into a panic but we may be facing a Velveeta shortage.
big chicken- Posts : 683
Join date : 2011-10-21
Re: Interesting News Items
Maybe potential for a future "I Hate My Job" poster - Operation Smile's interview for an entry level position included unpaid catering for a senior staff party. This is so insane, and Operation Smile confirmed it's true! There are so many things wrong, and so many little things that make it worse. If you're going to require the candidates to plan, cook, and serve a 40 person dinner party as part of the interview process for a job that pays less than $25,000 - and only a quarter at best will actually GET a job - you damn well better pay them for the that time.
vwlphb- Posts : 446
Join date : 2011-10-21
Re: Interesting News Items
That is...so weird, and just leaves such a bad taste in my mouth. I understand they think they're giving people an off-the-cuff interesting challenge to see how they think on their feet, but...first of all, does the job itself involve any catering for big groups? Because that's a real specific skill set. Second of all, "provide entertainment"? WTF? Did the senior staff get to critique people's "entertainment" skills as part of the interview? Did they all get to throw tomatoes at them if they didn't sing well enough or whatever, because they wanted to "motivate" them?
And I know they could hardly have had the dinner be for donors or whatever, but a dinner for the senior staff? "Now make and serve me a fancy dinner as fast as you can, and it better be good" is like, just north of "come here, honey, let me see if you have the right ASSets for the job, heh heh." We'll just sit back while you serve us and then we'll see if we like you enough to give you the job...I'm sure they didn't mean it that way but GROOOOOOSSSSSSS.
I know the economy is bad, but I really really detest when people with power require the people without power to run through creepy, meaningless little hoops in order to even have a chance at a job on the pretext that "it's to see how they handle a challenge." Like, what exactly is so special about you that you can administer and judge this kind of "test"? You, by virtue of your holding a high-paying position in this organization, are so smart and insightful that watching a bunch of desperate 20-somethings run around trying to serve you a meal is the information you need to accurately judge one of them the worthiest? Is this the army? Are you a licensed social psychologist? It's basically hazing. Or reality TV. Just because the America's Next Top Model candidates are willing to debase themselves and claw off each other's faces for a prize does not mean that's a valid business practice.
I also may be biased because I have some experience with this, but there is a fine line between "we want you to be able to think on your feet and handle any challenge that comes your way!" and "we don't want to be bothered with the details of anything or give you any real supervision but we also want everything to turn out exactly the way we want it, but without really communicating to you what that is; we just want you to figure out what we probably want and then kill yourself trying to do it and we'll never really give you any approval or feedback unless you do something wrong. While paying you a shitty salary."
And I know they could hardly have had the dinner be for donors or whatever, but a dinner for the senior staff? "Now make and serve me a fancy dinner as fast as you can, and it better be good" is like, just north of "come here, honey, let me see if you have the right ASSets for the job, heh heh." We'll just sit back while you serve us and then we'll see if we like you enough to give you the job...I'm sure they didn't mean it that way but GROOOOOOSSSSSSS.
I know the economy is bad, but I really really detest when people with power require the people without power to run through creepy, meaningless little hoops in order to even have a chance at a job on the pretext that "it's to see how they handle a challenge." Like, what exactly is so special about you that you can administer and judge this kind of "test"? You, by virtue of your holding a high-paying position in this organization, are so smart and insightful that watching a bunch of desperate 20-somethings run around trying to serve you a meal is the information you need to accurately judge one of them the worthiest? Is this the army? Are you a licensed social psychologist? It's basically hazing. Or reality TV. Just because the America's Next Top Model candidates are willing to debase themselves and claw off each other's faces for a prize does not mean that's a valid business practice.
I also may be biased because I have some experience with this, but there is a fine line between "we want you to be able to think on your feet and handle any challenge that comes your way!" and "we don't want to be bothered with the details of anything or give you any real supervision but we also want everything to turn out exactly the way we want it, but without really communicating to you what that is; we just want you to figure out what we probably want and then kill yourself trying to do it and we'll never really give you any approval or feedback unless you do something wrong. While paying you a shitty salary."
Instant Monkeys- Posts : 1783
Join date : 2011-10-21
Re: Interesting News Items
Exactly! All the more outrageous that after having to jump through these hoops, they wouldn't even give any type of feedback:
ETA: Also! It doesn't sound like they had a company rep with them when planning the event, so how much could they really get out of it in terms of evaluation? You can't see who stepped up to lead, who complained, who went home, etc. If it actually meant as an evaluation, they should evaluate.
If they're not just out to exploit free labor for a company party, the "team challenge" should have been theoretical/hypothetical, or something like "put on a dinner for this homeless shelter" or something. This is just too self-indulgent, especially given they are a charity.After the interviews (which took place on a Friday) we were told that we would hear their decisions on Monday. When Thursday came I called their office and asked about my candidacy. I was given the standard "there were many qualified applicants" line. No feedback was provided.
ETA: Also! It doesn't sound like they had a company rep with them when planning the event, so how much could they really get out of it in terms of evaluation? You can't see who stepped up to lead, who complained, who went home, etc. If it actually meant as an evaluation, they should evaluate.
Last edited by vwlphb on Mon Jan 13, 2014 8:26 pm; edited 2 times in total
vwlphb- Posts : 446
Join date : 2011-10-21
Re: Interesting News Items
Instant Monkeys wrote:It's basically hazing.
That's it right there. Hazing in the sense that it is clearly for their own amusement. The quote from the lady who gave the phone interview actually said they get enjoyment out of seeing the candidate's reaction when they are told they have to cook a meal.
Plus, from the applicant's description of the party, it didn't sound like the senior staff was doing any kind of observation or critiquing to help decide who would be the best for the job. Just lots of drinking! They are rich assholes with lots of power over idealistic job applicants who want a foot in the door of a major international non-profit. And the senior staff wanted a party where they could mess with them.
Never Enough- Posts : 271
Join date : 2011-10-28
Re: Interesting News Items
Gender-specific books demean all our children. So the Independent on Sunday will no longer review anything marketed to exclude either sex FUCK YOU VERY MUCH.
Mic drop.
I kind of want to send them flowers or something.
Mic drop.
I kind of want to send them flowers or something.
particle_person- Tech Support
- Posts : 1973
Join date : 2011-10-21
Re: Interesting News Items
I am currently knee-deep in research on the reading gap between boys and girls and while I think it's great that books won't be marketed to just one gender, there is in fact a lot of evidence that boys and girls, in general, have very different tastes in literature and toys, etc and that goes well beyond the effects of socialization. There's also significant evidence that various areas of boys' and girls' brains develop at different rates. It's one reason why boys, in general, are more likely than girls, in general, to struggle with reading in the early years and choose not to read for fun throughout school. The good news is that the male and female brain's development generally evens out/catches up to one another's by the age of 19 or 20 (which is why everyone should take a gap year before starting college).
Also that The Hunger Games series is a best-seller, like all YA best-sellers, is driven by female readers. Teenage boys don't read enough, let alone buy books enough, to influence the best-seller lists. On an anecdotal level, I can tell you that the series gets checked out from the library by teenage girls, adult SF/F readers, and adult women's book groups. Boys are far more likely to know The Hunger Games from the movies than from the actual books.
Also that The Hunger Games series is a best-seller, like all YA best-sellers, is driven by female readers. Teenage boys don't read enough, let alone buy books enough, to influence the best-seller lists. On an anecdotal level, I can tell you that the series gets checked out from the library by teenage girls, adult SF/F readers, and adult women's book groups. Boys are far more likely to know The Hunger Games from the movies than from the actual books.
naughty zoot- Posts : 1103
Join date : 2011-10-21
Location : Western Mass
Re: Interesting News Items
I think you have to distinguish here between what the genders' natural inclinations are and the message that's being sent to the genders by the marketing. I don't think we should take some kind of natural bias in the children and actively make it worse by gender-specific marketing.
particle_person- Tech Support
- Posts : 1973
Join date : 2011-10-21
Re: Interesting News Items
The Let Me Google That For You Act of 2014 is a real thing now. (Not yet passed.)
particle_person- Tech Support
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Join date : 2011-10-21
Re: Interesting News Items
I have no idea if anyone outside of NH/MA cares about this, but I am fascinated by the Market Basket happenings. Short version: family owned grocery chain, with two sides fighting for control, and the much loved CEO got ousted by the board a few weeks ago. Here's a summary. The employees have staged pickets and are encouraging customers to boycott the store until he's reinstated, warehouse workers walked out last week and refused to make deliveries, (leaving the shelves barren in some place), and lawmakers have signed letters demanding he be reinstated. It's crazy - like some sort of movie come to life.
mokey75- Posts : 1289
Join date : 2011-10-21
Re: Interesting News Items
I think it's crazy, mokey75! My husband and I went to Market Basket on Sunday, after only hearing a tiny bit about some controversy, and the produce shelves were so empty. I didn't get any grapes or watermelon! So naturally, I got outraged and demanded to know more. There were petitions at each cash register and employees standing outside with petitions, but they were very carefully not mentioning a word unless directly asked. I wonder if that was the rule they were given? Also, it's really interesting to hear about lower level employees and management and lawmakers all banding together for once. I still haven't been able to figure why Arthur T Demoulas was fired exactly, other than cousins feuding? Is that really how Arthur S Demoulas convinced the whole board? "I hate him! Let's fire him!"
Sheli- Posts : 316
Join date : 2011-10-21
Re: Interesting News Items
World War I started 100 years ago today.
The Dude- Posts : 1141
Join date : 2011-10-25
Age : 49
Location : Peoples Republic of Boulder, South Rectangle
Re: Interesting News Items
I keep seeing this story about how the parents of the 5 year old boy were given a no-show fee bill when the boy didn't turn up at a birthday party by the birthday kid's mother.
I find it totally appalling. Yes, the parents could probably have found the mother's contact details somehow to let her know their child couldn't come, but stuff also happens last minute. What if the boy was sick, or there was a family emergency half an hour before the party started?
I'd be sending the mother a letter telling her a donation had been made to a children's charity in the birthday boy's name rather than giving her the money. What an idiotic thing to do.
I find it totally appalling. Yes, the parents could probably have found the mother's contact details somehow to let her know their child couldn't come, but stuff also happens last minute. What if the boy was sick, or there was a family emergency half an hour before the party started?
I'd be sending the mother a letter telling her a donation had been made to a children's charity in the birthday boy's name rather than giving her the money. What an idiotic thing to do.
Re: Interesting News Items
IT WAS HARMONY ALL ALONG! HARRY AND HERMIONE 4 EVA
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