Facebook

OMG. Thank you so much! I thought that just meant the page was refreshing. What an easy indicator!

I make it a point to uncheck most of the "updates" settings for pretty much everyone on my friends list, especially "comments and likes." Except for some folks, I STILL see their comments and likes even though they are unchecked, and for others, I have to go back and uncheck them again even though I am 98% sure I've already done it for that person. Is this a glitch? I'm guessing there's nothing I can do about this, but does this happen to anyone else?

Yep, I think it's a glitch. I can't seem to fully get away from seeing Comments and Likes, so I continue to see private photos and updates from strangers who'd probably prefer that I didn't, and that means that strangers are probably seeing my stuff too.

I conscientiously did that for basically everybody on my list the first time that request went around (and it works most of the time, but I do get people's likes or whatever sometimes even if I've unchecked it for them, so yeah I think it's a glitch), but then I forgot that just because I couldn't see everyone's likes and shit didn't mean they couldn't see mine. Not that I'm going around making fun of my Facebook friends on other people's posts, but it's still kind of weird when I remember (since I'm sure not all my FB friends engaged in the same campaign to uncheck everybody manually because it's a huge PITA). Facebook is dumb.

Snopes discusses it here. Basically if you have your privacy setting set to friends (NOT friends-of-friends or public) then nobody should see YOUR posts except your friends. However, you can still see OTHER people's posts if THEIR privacy settings are f-o-f or public.

So it's not a reciprocal thing; just because you can see theirs doesn't mean they can see yours. The thing where you block people individually just keeps you from seeing them (glitches notwithstanding) but they are still broadcasting. It's like when dogs hide their head under the couch but their butt is sticking out.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH.

One of my old coworkers managed to get the tip of her middle finger cut off a while back. This morning, she posted a picture of the gross, swollen, scabby stump. WHY DO YOU DO THIS THING? The first thing I'm going to do (after I stop dry-heaving) is go to her page to try and find out exactly how she lost it, and then I'm going to defriend the shit out of her.

Unlucky Bear wrote:The first thing I'm going to do (after I stop dry-heaving) is go to her page to try and find out exactly how she lost it

HEEE. (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NONONONONONO!)

WHY would someone think people would want to see their bloodied, mangled finger? Why would she want to be reminded of it? Oh, so disgusting.

My nephew posted a picture of a friend's vomit. I blocked him. I was revolted.

I hate TMI photos.

Also, question... does anyone find some of the anti-bullying/acceptance campaigns insulting? A while back there was one for high schoolers to spend a day talking to an unpopular kid to make them feel liked. As in, my adult relatives and friends said they were having their kids do it. So what, become fake friends with someone? That'll boost their confidence. Why not just encourage your kids to be decent human beings?

I will cosign that. Anti-bullying stuff is pretty trendy now (and don't get me wrong, that's a GOOD thing overall), but it's real easy for it to get condescending. Having been one of the school weirdos, if some mean girl came up to me and wanted to be my friend for a day, all it would do is mortify me, screw with my head and probably make me paranoid. "Talk to unpopular kids" is not like "walk dogs at Humane Society" or "volunteer at soup kitchen." I agree it would be better to try to remind your happy teenage-dream type-A kid to be kind to everyone, treat everyone with respect (even your weird classmate, your eccentric teacher, the janitor, the guy who sits on the street yelling, the boy who never talks, the girl who never stops talking, the girl you think is slutty, the boy you think is a burnout...everyone), and not judge. "Befriend an unpopular kid for a day for charity" is something invented by someone who has no memory whatsoever of what high school is like.

And that point is demonstrated over and over in a cringey way in the movie 10 Years through the Chris Pratt character, who is a former bully who tries to "make friends" with the people he used to bully (by bullying and condescending to them) at their 10 yr high school reunion. I saw it on the plane a few weeks ago, and it was enjoyable and predictable (Channing Tatum is the lead guy, and Rosario Dawson is the one who got away).

Whoa. That idea is dumb. Treating someone like a charity case for a day isn't actually being a decent person. Singling someone out for special treatment like that because of how you feel about them is exactly what bullies already do, and isn't suddenly better because you're telling yourself you're being nice instead of being mean.

Also, unpopular kids aren't stupid. (Honestly, plenty of them are pretty smart.) They're not going to "feel better" just because some other kid's parents told them to be condescending. And then there's the part where some kids actually DON'T want to be popular, the part where popular kids are still bullied, and plenty of unpopular kids avoid the bullies by flying totally under the radar. Some kids are unpopular because they're mean kids themselves. Even TV shows have this figured out.

Poubelle wrote:Whoa. That idea is dumb. Treating someone like a charity case for a day isn't actually being a decent person. Singling someone out for special treatment like that because of how you feel about them is exactly what bullies already do, and isn't suddenly better because you're telling yourself you're being nice instead of being mean.

Also, unpopular kids aren't stupid. (Honestly, plenty of them are pretty smart.) They're not going to "feel better" just because some other kid's parents told them to be condescending.

Indeed. Let's face it, the minute parents touch any of this with a ten-foot pole it's automatically tainted, from a social standpoint. Sorry, parents.

And then there's the part where some kids actually DON'T want to be popular, the part where popular kids are still bullied, and plenty of unpopular kids avoid the bullies by flying totally under the radar.

Yup. Suddenly being singled out to have mandatory, parent-directed friendship overtures made towards you sounds like the biggest nightmare imaginable, heh. And not to be cynical but I'm sure for some parents (or for the kids) their motivation for doing it is not "I want to help this person" or "This weird person seems interesting and I'd like to get to know them" but "I can get a good college essay out of this" or "I can brag to my book club about how kind my kid is." And that is REALLY not fair to the person being "helped."

Some kids are unpopular because they're mean kids themselves. Even TV shows have this figured out.

Also an excellent point. And not to get all serious here, but I do think it's important for kids to learn BOTH to try to think of others' feelings and not be shitty to someone just because they can get away with it, AND (girls especially) that if someone is an asshole they don't have to be nice to that person. Social consequences do exist for a reason. That doesn't mean it's OK to call them a fag or write a fake love note to humiliate them or whatever, but it does mean that you don't have to engage with them. I think kids' tribalism/sense of justice is often very out of whack and needs guidance -- that primal sense of THAT ONE IS DIFFERENT MUST CULL FROM HERD is something people need to be taught how to master, because we're a civilized society and the different among us deserve compassion and respect. But I do think it's important that they have autonomy to work things out on their own, not just have their parents pick out the weirdest-looking kid and demand that they make friends with that kid. Not that I think reaching out to someone in friendship is ever bad, really, but if people don't click they don't, and that's OK.

Just blocked a crazy relative. I feel so free. I'd had her heavily filtered for a while, ever since I posted an article about healthcare and she sent me this long, crazy PM about how the Affordable Care Act is a conspiracy by Obama and Planned Parenthood to sterilize Catholic children.

I guess she could still see updates to my profile pic, though. When I changed it to the HRC red equals sign yesterday she showed up on my wall with long, raving posts about how gay marriage isn't really marriage because gay people can't be mothers or fathers (?) or have sex with each other (?!?), and the whole thing is a conspiracy to persecute Christians, and true justice would be if American constitutional law were based on Catholic theology, and then she asked me if I sympathized with white supremacists too. Because in her mind, I guess, being pro-marriage equality and pro-Klan are equally heinous and immoral stances? I called my mom to tell her I'd be blocking this woman, to get in front of any family drama that it might cause. I told my mom that someone who would come to my wall, pick a fight with me, post a bunch of bigoted trash that my gay and lesbian friends and relatives will see, and then dare to ask me if I support white supremacy is not someone I need to speak to ever again. I thought my mom would be like, "She's a really nice person. Don't start any fights," which is what she said after the crazy ACA PM rant, but this time she pleasantly surprised me by being like, "Nope! You don't have to talk to anyone who would write those things on your facebook! Block away!" So it was nice to have that support.

Seriously, though. Ugh. I'm glad this woman is out of my feed, and I'm glad my mom had my back, but I'm so disgruntled about it. I know that you can't really know anyone through their facebook interactions because it's such a small part of who they are, but sometimes you wind up learning some really unsavory things about people in your life, and that's disappointing. Good riddance.

I know that you can't really know anyone through their facebook interactions because it's such a small part of who they are, but sometimes you wind up learning some really unsavory things about people in your life, and that's disappointing.

Truth.

Author By Night wrote:I hate TMI photos.

Also, question... does anyone find some of the anti-bullying/acceptance campaigns insulting? A while back there was one for high schoolers to spend a day talking to an unpopular kid to make them feel liked. As in, my adult relatives and friends said they were having their kids do it. So what, become fake friends with someone? That'll boost their confidence. Why not just encourage your kids to be decent human beings?

What an incredibly stupid idea. It's like the calls we get at Christmas from kids who say "My mom says I should come in to entertain the sick kids for the holidays. Do you have any?"

Honestly, if you have to tell your kids to talk to an "unpopular kid" for the day, you are not parenting right. First of all, kids see right through all that bullshit. Secondly, you should be leading as best you can by example. Christ, if there is anything at all that I hope comes out of my basic parenting skills is that I taught my kid how to have both sympathy and empathy and that she recognizes that world doesn't revolve around her alone. It revolves around everyone and anyone who comes in contact with her should be treated fairly and decently, and exactly the way she would want to be treated.

Whoa, sorry for the rant there!

Sometimes the "interventions" proposed by anti-bullying campaigns are so out-of-touch it makes me wonder if the people who thought them up ever actually were teenagers who socialized with teenagers. Or humans who socialize with humans.

I've had the new looking timeline for over a week now, and have yet to see any bitching and moaning about it. Has it just not been released widely yet or are people chilling out about facebook changes?

I have a diverse set of political views among my Facebook friends. It's been a long, hard road blocking those who chose to indulge in insanity, and weeding out the trolls, but it's been worth it for the mutually respectful and insightful debates that have occurred since then.

mialoubug wrote:What an incredibly stupid idea. It's like the calls we get at Christmas from kids who say "My mom says I should come in to entertain the sick kids for the holidays. Do you have any?"

Honestly, if you have to tell your kids to talk to an "unpopular kid" for the day, you are not parenting right. First of all, kids see right through all that bullshit. Secondly, you should be leading as best you can by example. Christ, if there is anything at all that I hope comes out of my basic parenting skills is that I taught my kid how to have both sympathy and empathy and that she recognizes that world doesn't revolve around her alone. It revolves around everyone and anyone who comes in contact with her should be treated fairly and decently, and exactly the way she would want to be treated.

mialoubug, I would like to offer you a high five for being an awesome mom. :)

The number of "Big McLargeHuge likes a status" and comments on strangers' photos I am seeing in my newsfeed (despite my selecting NOT to see these things) has gotten ridiculous. Is this because of the impending news feed change-up or what? It's SO ANNOYING.

Just blocked a crazy relative. I feel so free. I'd had her heavily filtered for a while, ever since I posted an article about healthcare and she sent me this long, crazy PM about how the Affordable Care Act is a conspiracy by Obama and Planned Parenthood to sterilize Catholic children.

So I see you know my aunt. Good call.

I know I shouldn't, but I posted in response to one of the "X is a magical cure-all!" posts. They just irritate me so much. Did you know lemon water is a "blood purifier"? No? Because it isn't! That is called liver function!

punzy wrote:I know I shouldn't, but I posted in response to one of the "X is a magical cure-all!" posts. They just irritate me so much. Did you know lemon water is a "blood purifier"? No? Because it isn't! That is called liver function!

I totally lost my temper on Pinterest one day after I saw an obviously-faked image and made this.

Haha, p_p I think that was my pin you commented on! I pinned it in the middle of a bleary eyed feeding with my daughter and then realised it was fake. I think I've deleted it....