PostSecret

There's a difference between disapproving of poor decisions and being the textbook definition of a victim blamer.

Utterly vile. Glad that he/she sent it in, though, since it's good for people to know that this attitude still exists.

Shalamar wrote:I don't get this one. What does the lost key have to do with her sister's stealing?

She took the key as revenge for her sister's stealing, it looks like.

BDSM probably. Once they were done the guy (presumably) took the duct tap off gently and didn't rip it off.

It's either that or she fell in love with the nice kidnapper.

My first thought was policeman (post-robbery or kidnapping), but the phrasing seems to indicate that there has been more than one instance. So either it's BDSM or she's just really, really unlucky.

It was the duct tape reference that threw me. When I think BDSM, I think silk scarves or fur-lined handcuffs. I lead a sheltered life!

Oh I know. So sad.

I was actually having this very discussion with my students this week. A few of them were thanking for being so patient in reexplaining things and being willing to offer help while apparently some other profs were making their life difficult. I do not understand why some people are teachers if they can't manage empathy for their students. Yes, sometimes it is tiresome and you do hear the same excuses over and over (that you sometimes know are total BS), but that's part of the job. Even if some situations sound trivial to the experienced adult, they're not always easy to navigate for a 17-year-old who is just learning to manage his/her own personal and professional life independently. Now, I'm far from being a "anything goes" kind of person and I will only give so much leeway to students who always come looking for accommodations and are always offering excuses, and I sometimes tell them failing is part of their experience growing up and becoming more responsible or learning their own limits, but part of teaching undergrads is being willing to support them, not just telling them to suck it up and "get over yourself".

Morning Angel wrote:Oh I know. So sad.

I was actually having this very discussion with my students this week. A few of them were thanking for being so patient in reexplaining things and being willing to offer help while apparently some other profs were making their life difficult. I do not understand why some people are teachers if they can't manage empathy for their students. Yes, sometimes it is tiresome and you do hear the same excuses over and over (that you sometimes know are total BS), but that's part of the job. Even if some situations sound trivial to the experienced adult, they're not always easy to navigate for a 17-year-old who is just learning to manage his/her own personal and professional life independently. Now, I'm far from being a "anything goes" kind of person and I will only give so much leeway to students who always come looking for accommodations and are always offering excuses, and I sometimes tell them failing is part of their experience growing up and becoming more responsible or learning their own limits, but part of teaching undergrads is being willing to support them, not just telling them to suck it up and "get over yourself".

I agree to a point but one thing I've noticed is that the students I hear these things from the most are the ones who are having the same problems as many others, it's just that those others are coping. By which I mean, I hear them from some while asking for favors repeatedly, and from others when they are just mentioning it as "I had to miss class because of reason X, can I come meet with you sometime because I'm not sure I'm understanding the concepts I missed that day". I agree that they are still growing and learning, but I do think that some are just excuse making. I sympathize that it's hard when you've had a break-up, but when that comes on the heels of a new excuse for every test, I'm a bit skeptical. And it does come to a point where if it's interfering with your schooling that much, than you should reconsider if it's an appropriate time to be a full-time student.

Interestingly, I've noticed that often my students with the BIG issues are the ones asking for only minor concessions - what springs to mind is my pregnant student whose due date was the same date as the final presentations, and my military student who was being deployed and might miss the final. Both asked for alternate assignments!! (I said please don't worry about it given the circumstances).

I do understand that people have rough times, and I do try to be understanding. But there's a point where they do need to try to cope or find a solution that isn't asking for favors over the other students. So I think I'm basically agreeing with you in the end! I just do find those few with their weekly reasons of suspicious timing to be very exhausting (which is, incidentally, the reason I did away with make-ups and have a drop-the-lowest policy for tests - way less time spent dealing with undocumentable absences and conversations over missed tests).

Oh, I completely agree. It's always the same few who ask for accommodation & as I said, I am only so flexible and/or patient. (I had a student who told me once he shouldn't be penalized for his lateness handing in his term paper because he was too busy planning his engagement party! I still laugh at that one.) My syllabus outlines my class rules, and I refer students to them on many occasions. I have said to a few students that if they couldn't do the work and commit to what being a full-time student implied, maybe it was not the right time to be in school because they might as well be flushing their money down the drain.

I guess my qualm was more with this attitude of "I survived terrible things so you just need to suck it up with your puny little problems. I don't care." That's a terrible attitude to have in a people's profession. Yes, some days, I am exasperated too, but showing a bit of compassion is sometimes all a student needs to keep going. Giving a shit doesn't mean you have to abandon all rules or standards.

Matinee wrote:

Interestingly, I've noticed that often my students with the BIG issues are the ones asking for only minor concessions - what springs to mind is my pregnant student whose due date was the same date as the final presentations, and my military student who was being deployed and might miss the final. Both asked for alternate assignments!! (I said please don't worry about it given the circumstances).

This. When people have asked for extensions for assignments, I have noticed the ones with genuine issues (bereavement, long-term illness, etc) are the ones who try the hardest to catch up and the ones who reply with genuine thanks when you allow the extension. The others, more along the 'I'm a bit behind this term...' lines, seem to expect it as their due and don't acknowledge it if it is granted [/generalisation but pretty much my experience].

I do this too, but that's mainly because I buy most of my clothes at thrift stores, and I'm not about to buy my undies used.

I'm kind of the other way. I'll only shop about once a year maximum for clothes, but they'll be my preferred labels (sale price) for feel and fit and will be expected to last, but I'm as cheap as hell with underwear.

Considering what bras cost, especially if you're outside of the rather limited size range of places like Target, I suspect there's a lot of women with the same secret. Hell, even at Target, the bras generally cost more than the shirts.

I once spent close to 200 dollars on three bras at Victoria Secret. So yeah, I believe it.

There's a Shel Silverstein poem about this! I'll find it tomorrow.

My general method with bra-shopping is to go to Marshall's or Filene's Basement, try on every single bra on the clearance rack in something approximating my size, and find a couple that fit. Fortunately that usually works for me. If I spend more than $10 on a bra I feel I've done poorly. Bras are tricky though, and I have chanced to fall into that narrow range that gets put on clearance racks at discount department stores. So I can easily understand it adding up.

I'm super cheap about undies too. Hell, I'm super cheap about everything, heh.

I spend a fuckton on bras. When you're a big size looking for something good, you're willing to pay for them. I've had cheap bras and I'll pay for quality instead of getting a new bra every three months.

Yeah, I have a fairly average size but I usually pay for the good ones because they last longer. I do have a few airie bras though.

Kiran wrote:I once spent close to 200 dollars on three bras at Victoria Secret. So yeah, I believe it.

Yeah, I've spent close to that on one bra. I don't fuck around with these.

Bras are one thing, though. I'm happy to spend three, four, five dollars apiece on underwear at Target, with the occasional Hanky Panky splurge.

Yeah underwear I usually buy at one of those 6 for 20 sales at Victoria's Secret or Airie. Or in packs from Wal Mart.