Advice Columns

I just hope that none of the BB/small inns they stayed at suffered financial losses from other customers who got lice.

Also, is it possible to get lice by reading about it because I think that has happened to me!

The husband! The husband knew! They kept pulling lice out of their hair and he didn't say anything! Why would you stay silent? Why?! I can't believe she didn't divorce his ass right then and there. No, wait, I can. Because then...

Then they went to another inn while they had lice and slept on the sheets and spread it around and a louse fell out of her hair onto the table! Eeeeeeeew.

I can't even finish reading it. Yuck.

I'm seriously about to barf. If bugs are FALLING OUT OF YOUR HAIR, maybe you should take your ass home and deal with it there? My God.

I'm a little late to the party, but no amount of money in the world can make me go back and read that letter. Good god.

I'm so sorry I just read that. I don't...I can't...a month!? That is so incredibly disgusting.

A lot of Prudence/Emily Yoffe's advice has not sat well with me, and after reading that post I just cannot with this woman anymore.

ActonBell wrote:A lot of Prudence/Emily Yoffe's advice has not sat well with me, and after reading that post I just cannot with this woman anymore.

Yeah, I can't help but hold her opinions completely suspect after this. I mean, if she thinks that this is okay, how off must her perceptions on other things be?

And the fact that this seems to be an unprompted essay is the worst part, it's not even an embarrassing admission made under some duress or direct questioning. What made her want to share this with the world and why does she clearly think it's a humorous essay?

OMG I am paranoid that my cat will get fleas! I know kids in daycare get lice and things more frequently, but if you aren't stoned every day, wouldn't you like notice???

year of the cat wrote:OMG I am paranoid that my cat will get fleas! I know kids in daycare get lice and things more frequently, but if you aren't stoned every day, wouldn't you like notice???

I am stoned every day, and I would notice.

Correction noted, Eris. I am a slob, but bugs are not no way, not no how.

year of the cat wrote:Correction noted, Eris. I am a slob, but bugs are not no way, not no how.

Exactly. There is a distinct and notable difference between "unkempt" and "unhygienic".

Ok I know we're over Prudie, because ewwwww. But yesterday's column has a disturbing theme.

Wow.

Also, why do I read the comments? Each time I regret it. One person thinks that LW1 should have a threesome with her husband and daughter? Seriously?

Hooray! It's my favorite advice day of the year.....Ask Carolyn's Holiday Hootenany of Holiday Horrors, or whatever it's called this year. I LOVE this chat every year.

I dunno about the second letter. I think there's a huge gap between "grandpa who just wants a hug" and "pervy grandpa". I'd probably feel differently if I actually saw Gramps in action, however.

That letter just made my skin crawl. I did not get a good feeling about that guy at all.

The fact that she specified that they have two children but he only wants to hug the daughter is what gave me the creeps.

Gotta love the stepfather painting his stepdaughter in the nude. Oh, it's only because models are so expensive, you see. Nope, nothin' pervy there.

The thing about making someone hug someone else (especially family) is that a kid is more likely to think they have no control over things. It can lead to really uncomfortable or awful situations. One of the best things a parent can do to help protect their child from being molested is to empower a child with a sense of free agency and paying attention to that voice that tells them, "this doesn't feel so great". I really dislike that whole thing of making a child hug/kiss someone they don't want to. Because how will that child protect themselves, should they encounter some creeper? It really touches on that whole thing (especially directed toward women) of culturally having to play nice because of the wants/needs of someone in a more powerful position.
Sometimes my kids don't feel like hugging their relations and that is okay. I hope the Mother helps to tell her daughter the same thing.

Genevieve wrote:The thing about making someone hug someone else (especially family) is that a kid is more likely to think they have no control over things. It can lead to really uncomfortable or awful situations. One of the best things a parent can do to help protect their child from being molested is to empower a child with a sense of free agency and paying attention to that voice that tells them, "this doesn't feel so great". I really dislike that whole thing of making a child hug/kiss someone they don't want to. Because how will that child protect themselves, should they encounter some creeper? It really touches on that whole thing (especially directed toward women) of culturally having to play nice because of the wants/needs of someone in a more powerful position.
Sometimes my kids don't feel like hugging their relations and that is okay. I hope the Mother helps to tell her daughter the same thing.

Agreed. There are some people I know who always do the 'give us a hug' thing and frankly, sometimes I don't feel like it and other times it's someone I just don't want to hug ever. So I never assume a child is going to want to hug me when we meet, be they the offspring of relatives or friends. I wait for them to initiate it and if not, no biggie.

To give or receive a hug means you are seriously stepping into someone's personal space and that can be uncomfortable for some people, even if the other person isn't a creep.

I totally agree. My sister would make my nephew "give kisses" even when he didn't want to, and I would always jump in and say "no, no, he doesn't have to!" Because I totally agree. Even a small child should be allowed to say no.

That happens to me all the time as a preschool teacher. I get that the parents want the kids to like and respect us, but please please do not force your child to hug or kiss me. It's so creepy. I always try to offer a handshake, a high five, or a wave instead of a hug or a kiss if the child isn't into it. And I don't take it personally if they don't want to do ANY of those things!

My nephew went through a brief period where he didn't want to hug me (he's over it and is now Mr. Huggy). My mom pressed him on it, but I told him, "Y'know, you NEVER have to hug anyone you don't want to." I think it's so important that kids learn this at a young age.

Actually, I'm now very much rethinking my stance of giving Gramps the benefit of the doubt, because I'm remembering how my MIL would hold on to a struggling, crying grandchild and refuse to let go. I never knew what to do when my poor daughter was reaching out for me and MIL said crossly "Oh, you can have Mummy anytime. It's MY turn."

Yeah, it's never a good idea to make kids touch or hug someone they don't want to. I can see how it could confuse them about boundaries.