Advice Columns

I'm honestly wondering if Fiance Guy is uncomfortable around the bride-to-be's father and is glad that his mother has brought up the subject. If so, he's even more of a weasel than I thought. "Gee, honey, you know that I think your father's great, but just the sake of my mom, howzabout we disinvite him from the wedding?"

How about that second letter (the one in which the poster received a "stay away from my husband you homewrecker" letter, and meanwhile she barely knows the guy)? Prudie thinks that maybe Husband is having an affair with someone, just not the poster. My personal take is that he's infatuated with the poster. I've seen that happen before with a male colleague - he developed a huge crush on a pretty female co-worker who was friendly and polite to him, nothing more. A while later, he did the same thing with a young girl who'd say "Good morning" to him and chat briefly at the bus stop. The weird thing is, he was freaking out about this girl, saying that he didn't want to cheat on his wife or jeopardize his marriage - with a girl who probably didn't even know he was alive!

The answer to LW1 in this week's Thatz Not Okay was amazing. I laughed so hard. But, seriously, she needs to dump her boyfriend.

Dealbreaker. I read some of the comments and the people suggesting she just "wait the cat out" are dead wrong. If I were to diagnose that relationship it seems like it's gonna be perfect as long as everything is always going to go his way forever, because she's not his equal or even second on his list until Mr. Fancy dies. Someone who treats you with no respect at the beginning of a relationship won't ever do so.

The thought of him lying awake, waiting for her to fall asleep so he can move her to the floor and cuddle in bed with his cat? It's so awful! Why didn't she leave him as soon as she woke up in the morning and learned what had happened? He picked her up in her sleep and gently, gently, so she wouldn't wake up and go, "What the hell are you doing?" put her on the floor! He is a creep!

That guy is a sleep ninja. I couldn't imagine "gently" moving someone off the bed onto the floor without them waking up. She's lucky she woke up with both her kidneys.

Does he have a twin bed? Is his cat a puma? Why on earth can't she fit in the bed with them??

I understand how a cat can take up more space than seems felinely possible. It has less to do with size and more to do with being a complete dead weight and no compunction about putting his ass on your face if you are in his way.

But none of that means putting your romantic partner on the floor so that cat can be comfy. Unless you are crazy.

I love my cat to an insane degree, and if space were an issue, I would just move him to the floor. And I wouldn't do it gently or set up pillows. Cat, you know where the couch is. You also know where every other even vaguely soft surface in this house is, because I've seen you sleeping there.

also, wtf, if you're allergic, why are you sleeping in a bed a cat also sleeps in.

I would go nuts if I had a coworker who wanted to talk about race all the time.

In any bed of sizes queen and up, there are ways to negotiate the space. Chana and I do that with the dog every night, though I do admit that he's a bit more stubborn on some nights than others. However, my major concern is the fact that he was somehow able to transfer her to the floor without her knowledge during the night. This just screams "See a doctor" to me, since it couldn't possibly be that healthy to be that out of it when asleep. Of course, that assumes that there's no drinking or drug use going on that she somehow forgot to mention.

The only way I can possibly even vaguely see this making sense is if he sleeps on a twin mattress on the floor.  But actually moving her down several feet from a real bed without waking her up?  No way - barring drugs or alcohol, I guess, is right.

In today's Prudie video an example of several things you should not do!

1) Ask about your partner's "number"
2) freak out about the answer
3) snoop through their email

It is a shame the lady didn't write in so she could be told to drop this ass.

I think that you should talk to your partner about your previous sexual history (it is healthy to need to know this), but the rest of it is not that great.

I agree! But discussing your past sexual history (like an adult!) is different from asking what their "number". Also being aware of your own comfort level in regard to that conversation. For example, Mr punzy and I have discussed our past sexual histories with each other. Because I do not really care about the details I ended up knowing more about his sex life (some of his stories are pretty funny) while he is more comfortable with generalities about my past. Also I really hate the "number" thing, sex is not golf.

Is...also not relevant in my opinion? Its important to know sexual history and health and if you have any hang ups or for example if you acted out sexually because of some issue. But? Its seems really judgey to just ask what your number is and form a basis off that. Now granted I might be touchy because looking at my number you could assume things about my character based on stereotypes and none of that would be true. Because anything based off a number and not an adult discussion on sexual history is not going to tell you anything.

I want this to be from Captain Awkward. I want it so much.

Carolyn Hax reran one of my all time favorite letters! Bedbug lady, who had her son, daughter in law, and their new baby to stay for Thanksgiving, didn't mention that her house had bedbugs, and now is so innocently bewildered and hurt that her DIL threw away her suitcase and wouldn't stay another night! It must be because the DIL is a mean old career woman; that's the only reason she could possibly mind her baby sleeping in a bed of biting vermin! The poor LW is really sad and embarrassed that her DIL doesn't want to bring the infestation home with her and came to Carolyn for some sympathy.

I remember that one! Hoo boy.

This entire week's run have been great. Today's is simply heart-breaking; I hope everything is okay.

That letter was four years ago ... I wonder if it would be possible to find out what happened?

That's the whole point of this week... she's on vacation, so she asked her readers on FB a while back to nominate the letters they were most interested in a followup from. As far as I know, she only heard back from the letter writer earlier this week with the abusive husband. The LW had left her boyfriend, did not get counseling, and she's lived a pretty hard life since then.

All you rich old people need to stop hogging all the jobs 

*facepalm*

Oh, what bullshit. My parents have no plans to retire. Apart from the money thing, they enjoy what they do, and it keeps them active and involved in the world. I can see that she has part of a point at least, but her viewpoint is one-sided. Also, "You rich people should quit so I can make some big money." Mmm. Not so much.

People are living longer, so if anything, they are going to need to work until they reach an older age than previous generations. And they probably struggled when they were younger too, and are now reaping the rewards of their hard work. Eff off, lady.

The situation here is that so many older people lost huge chunks of their pensions when banks got into trouble so they have no choice but to keep working past the age they'd hope to retire at. I'm sure a lot of them would much rather be handing in their resignations but they can't afford to.

It's pretty rich that she rails against "the ME ME ME attitude of our society now" while announcing to the world that she's entitled to someone else's job just because they're old and she's not.