Guess Who Don't Sue

This B list actress, famous thanks to her franchise films, is craving another hookup with her co-star. During premieres, she and the film’s leading man have crazy sex that makes fellow hotel patrons complain to the front desk about the noise. Unable to wait for the next red carpet event that will throw them together, she tried to call for an early hookup. His girlfriend answered the phone and caused the B lister to panic and hang up. When the girlfriend called her back, she blamed the hang up phone call on her assistant. His lady didn’t buy it and warned B list and her assistant that if it happened again her STD secret would slip to the tabloids.

Actress:

Actor:

Like I’ll tell you right now, I’m cutting Heidi Klum. Not interesting and don’t care, unless she’s the subject of a blind riddle. But you already knew that.

In the past week, all the NFL teams had mini-camps, but the biggest talk among the players on one team was not about their new teams or the upcoming season, but what is being called the greatest celebrity sex tape ever. Apparently this former A+ list Tweener not named Miley or one of the Cheetah Girls made a sex tape with this newly drafted NFL player. The player who went to school in California was talking about how he had dated this Tweener and someone said prove it and out comes a full 15 minute video on his iPad. The next thing you know every player was gathered around this iPad and there was almost complete silence for the full 15 minutes. Afterwards, the noise was deafening and players begged to watch it again. For the entire mini-camp all anyone could talk about was the sex tape and what exactly goes on during it.

1) Over the past year this A+ list singer has seen her life turn into a downward spiral that her friends think is going to result in her death. One friend said the singer is abusing drugs so much that she wonders how the singer is not already dead. She spends all day and night doing drugs. In the past our singer always had a busy schedule but managed to make it to everything and to show up coherently, but now when she does show up for things, she does so out of it and is never quite sure where she is or where she needs to be. She also has used drugs in the past, but now she is using them openly and not afraid who sees her. The friend knows about 15 people that the singer has slept with in the past six months alone and has heard there are way more. Her recording sessions have sounded awful lately and millions of dollars have been spent on songs that are not even usable. Our singer wants to move away from just records and to be an actress, and doesn't understand why she is not able to get more parts and be a star, especially after her most recent movie. The singer is constantly taking last second trips and paying for the expenses of all her friends who tell her what the singer wants to hear and not what she should hear. The singer had a brief one month relationship with this A list midwest rapper who the singer stalks by calling him everyday and night but who she never mentions publicly. The rapper messed with the singer's mind and ever since their working relationship turned hot and passionate for a short time she has never been the same. He has moved on but she has not. She ruined the relationship with her mentor by calling his wife one night and telling her what the singer and the mentor had previously done and that they continued to hook up all the time. The mentor went ballistic and has not spoken to the singer since. Our singer has tried counseling but says she is fine. The friend I spoke to said when she confronted the singer and advised her to get help or take a year off to get her head straight, the singer yelled at her and threw her out of her hotel room and has not spoken to her since."

2) "It has been an interesting few weeks for this celebrity couple. The couple, part of a huge franchise and consisting of a B+/A- movie actor and movie actreess have always managed to give the impression they are a couple, when in reality they are not. It has never been that big of an issue until lately. With the exception of some flings our actor had on set with some of his co-stars, he has managed to keep everything he has done on the side on the down low. The actress has always loved the friendship and relationship the two have had although it has been entirely asexual. She does not really have feelings for anyone, whether it be male or female in a sexual way and has loved being part of a relationship without actually being in a relationship. Make sense? Well, although it works for her, it has not always worked for the actor. He would love to play the field and take advantage of all the women who want to be with him. Not in a Gerard Butler kind of way, but at least have some fun. Most of the time his drinking keeps him from getting too interested as that is by far his first love. Unbeknownst to the actress though, the actor has maintained a steady group of two or three other women who he spends time with which satisfies his needs. If the actress were to find out about them or if the relationships would be made public then she would be forced to answer questions about this long time relationship and move on which is something she is loathe to do. She likes being insulated. The problem is the actor has been seeing someone more frequently who is growing impatient and wants to be seen with our actor in public. She wants a real relationship and not just one consisting of random hotel rooms and hookups at his place when the actress is out of town. It got so bad that in the past two weeks, the woman actually showed up on the set where our actor was filming and he had to pass off the woman as an obssessed fan which our actress did not entirely believe. Also, a former lover of the actor who also happens to be a co-star got drunk with the couple and began revealing details of the relationship she had with the actor and did so loudly. She also saw the "obsessed fan," and said, "That looks exactly like the girl you showed me last year who you said was just your type and you were going to try and meet her." Although our couple headed back home together, apparently neither of them have stayed there together since the fateful time on set."

3. "This former almost A list Tweener has been desperate to get back on television since her abrupt departure a few years ago. Her parents won't let her though because they don't want to have to answer questions about what happened which would break wide open the hastily concocted cover story that has barely stood up to any kind of examination."

4. "Over the next few weeks, this B- list television actress will be scrutinized for why she is leaving a hit show. She has not been asked to leave the show and she is a firm believer in the policy of not voluntarily leaving a hit show. So, why is she leaving? Because of one of her co-stars who will not stop saying things to her which have caused her to seek therapy. It all started out a couple of years ago when she started working on this hit network show. Things happened and one thing led to another and she ended up sleeping with her B list co-star. He soon started sleeping with another co-star and our actress was hurt but moved on. Then, the actor wanted another go with her and she said no and for the past two years has been talking smack about her to anyone who will listen. Truly awful and horrible things about how she is a drug addict which she is not. How she hit on married producers and crew members which she has not. Anything he can think of, he has said. The one time she confronted him about it, the actor said all she had to do was sleep with him again and it would all go away. So far she has refused and because he is a bigger star than her, the producers have told her to stay quiet and that they will give her a bonus if she leaves the show and does so quietly. If she makes a fuss they have told her she will have trouble getting work on any show and that perhaps if she just had sex with the actor again then things would be all better. Yeah. She was pretty disgusted too."

#2 - sounds like RPattz and Kirsten Stewart to me.

Decca wrote:#1 - I'd say it's supposed to be Rihanna, with Jay-Z as the married mentor. As for the A-list rapper from the midwest...Kanye? So much drama!

Is Kanye from the Midwest?

katesti wrote:#1 - I think it's supposed to be Rihanna too, but that part about her "last movie" is tripping me up, since I don't think she's been in anything that's been released yet. Has she? (IMDB says no.)

Gilraen wrote:

#2 - sounds like RPattz and Kirsten Stewart to me.

Me too; more accurately, though, it sounds like the first half of someone's crappy Twilight RPS fic in which the author plays the role of RPattz girlfriend. In the second half, Kristin is vanquished and RPattz learns he loves the author more than drinking.