Advice Columns

Prudie's first letter is all about how giving a baby up for adoption is selfish and not "seeing it through". I wanted to smack the woman.

(I'd post a link but it won't let me yet)

DAMN IT. I was beaten to the punch by about 30 seconds for restarting my favorite thread with that exact same Prudie column. Well played, madam.

But yes, that column was insane. I don't understand Judgey Sister one bit....she thinks her sister is irresponsible for giving her kid up for adoption because she thinks the family can pitch in and raise it? But also thinks her sister is a hoor who should be punished by raising the kid herself? Frankly that kid is way better off with a loving adoptive family.

She didn't seem to realise that she had no say in her sister's decision whatsoever. It's one thing if she had her own opinion on what she would do in that situation, but she thought she had a right to impose it on her sister. Weird.

The link thing is awkward, but I'm not sure we can change it. In any case, it's a good anti-spammer device, so it has its uses.

Unlucky Bear wrote:DAMN IT. I was beaten to the punch by about 30 seconds for restarting my favorite thread with that exact same Prudie column. Well played, madam.

Mwahahahaha!

But she is willing to babysit while her sister is in classes! That makes it so much easier to be a parent at 21!

Why don't people get that babies shouldn't ever be punishments? That's the impression I got from the LW, that she thinks her sister has been irresponsible and now it's more important for her to be punished than it is for the baby to have a good life with parents who want it and are prepared.

What an awful idea, to use an infant as a punishment. It sounds like she doesn't particularly care about her sister's life or the baby's life, which is pretty crappy considering they're her FAMILY. Imagine how she treats non-blood relatives!

This sister sounds absolutely bat-shit. It is amazing how she fails to see what an incredibly difficult and loving decision her sister is making. I am so glad Prudie gave her what for.
It's shitty enough that you are in a less than ideal situation and you are going to do something very brave but to add in a family member who is telling you that you are making the wrong choice and you are being selfish for it? Sweet Mary.

That letter made me so angry last week I kept clicking over to Snarkfest to see if it was up and I could post it. Ugh, the idea that this young woman is making this very brave decision that will ultimately help someone else form their family and is getting lambasted for it by her sister. Awful.

The sister does seem to have some out-of-the ordinary issues, though. I wonder if she got pregnant unexpectedly and has felt trapped ever since.

I just do NOT get what is entitled about giving up your baby for adoption. Going through pregnancy and labor and then giving the kid away? That's not the easy way out. (Actually, I'm not sure there is an easy way out of an unplanned pregnancy, except finding out your test result was wrong.) The older sister might not understand the choice, but it's not her life.

Also, "she got herself into this mess"? YOU MENTION THE FATHER AT THE BEGINNING OF YOUR LETTER, DUMBASS. Anyone who says something like that about a woman who is unexpectedly pregnant should be forced to take remedial sex ed classes where they learn it takes two to tango and no form of birth control outside of abstinence (and gay sex, I suppose) is 100% effective. Yes, perfectly-used condoms are 98% effective. Maybe the sister was just part of the unlucky 2%.

I know! Like, no wonder your sister's giving your kid up for adoption. She's gotta keep it away from nutbags like the LW.

Links are working. Could someone link it?

Linky goodness

Good Lord, babies are not punishments. they should not be looked at this way.

I mean, m sister kept her baby when she was 19, but she had a supportive not insane (well, about THIS anyway) family. And none of us looked at the baby as some sort of retribution.

After reading that, I'm not sure that I'd want to leave a child of mine with that sister. What sort of values would it learn? Adoption seems the right choice.

Ah yes, the "My sister should have to keep her baby. That'll teach her." logic. Sister sounds a lot more responsible and reasonable than the LW. With family 'supporting' her like that, poor sister.