Guess Who Don't Sue

My 5 year old loves them, Bieber is already old hat for the kindergarten set. And there songs are undeniably catchy, so I have ended knowing way more about 1D than I ever expected to.

They all just seem very very horny to me. I cracked up at that recording of two of them (was it Harry and Zayn? I think) desperately trying to arrange a booty call with groupies.

I know more about them then I should because my 14 year old cousin LOVES them. I think their music is catchy but will admit I was super annoyed when she was going on about Zayn and I mentioned I had a similar crush on Justin Timberlake and she looked at me with disgust and declared "he is like 30. How old ARE you?"

Kiran wrote:They all just seem very very horny to me. I cracked up at that recording of two of them (was it Harry and Zayn? I think) desperately trying to arrange a booty call with groupies.

I know more about them then I should because my 14 year old cousin LOVES them. I think their music is catchy but will admit I was super annoyed when she was going on about Zayn and I mentioned I had a similar crush on Justin Timberlake and she looked at me with disgust and declared "he is like 30. How old ARE you?"

Dude, my 12-year-old niece "explained" to me what "LMAO" meant. It took all I had not to reply, "I know, you fetus."

And British boybanders aren't constrained by American sexual mores, so they don't even have to pretend they're not in it for the ass.

Considering how many women Harry Styles has had in the last couple of years, it is a surprise he has the energy to perform on stage at all. The joys of youth, I guess.

Harry is the one who can clearly be seen saying to Matt Cardle, the X Factor winner, "Think how much pussy you're going to get" after Matt won.

I make no excuses for my One Direction love. I went to see them over the summer without irony. I have no children in my life. I'm just a 34 year old pervy old lady who likes boybands.

So Taylor is less "beard to keep the gay rumors down" but more "let's try to keep him from looking like a total manwhore"?

Yeah I think so. I mean not because I don't think a boy band member could never be gay, but they are British and seem to care less (like I read on ONTD that the current X-factor boy band has one thats already out), and up until this point the only thing I knew about him was that he seems on an endless quest for all the lady gardens of the world.

Dachelle, right there with ya! I was so disappointed that all their L.A. shows sold out so quickly. I really wanna see 1D live, but I'm not willing to part with $80 for a single ticket through one of those stupid non-Ticketmaster companies.

Kiran, I think I'll keep "lady gardens" in my mental arsenal now. I quite like that phrase!

This BI just fascinates me (from CDAN) :

This actress was almost A list at one point. Always movies. High profile romances with A+ list actors and then pretty much nothing in the romance department as her career has wavered as well as she can't decide what she wants to be. Part of the problem is that she really thinks she is at least two people. She has two cell phones and each one is a different name she has given herself. One is for her as an actress under the name we all know her and the other is another person that she has created. She has a love of wigs and disguises and she frequently goes out as the alternate personality and has a group of friends who have no idea she is also an actress because she is always in disguise when she meets them. She has a different voice she uses and mannerisms and even has a studio apartment where she lives as a struggling artist. It is the most bizarre thing ever.

Most people seem to think either Winona or Renee Z, but I don't see it. They were both solid A listers in their days.

Part of me would love if it was Jennifer Garner, but I know it isn't.

What about Juliette Lewis? I know the BI doesn't make any reference to a music career, but I could completely see her having an alter ago.

Killershrew said:

What about Juliette Lewis? I know the BI doesn't make any reference to a music career, but I could completely see her having an alter ago.

Oo, that's a good guess. Music is an art form, after all.

I could totally see Juliette Lewis doing that, and it would actually make me love her a lot if it were true.

Does her acting career match the description, though?

The first part I think does a bit. She was nominated for an oscar and was in a LOT of things for a while there. And she dated Brad Pitt.

But I don't think her career faltered so much as went in a different direction. She does a lot of films, she just does a lot of interesting supporting work.

I just stumbled across a blind on tvline.com that's about scripted drama as opposed to RL, but I thought it might be interesting to parse here. Let me know if it needs to be moved to something under Television, but I couldn't see an appropriate thread there.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news just days before Christmas, but this secret has been burning a hole in my pocket for weeks and I simply must get it off my chest.

There’s increasing (read: deafening) buzz that a pivotal couple on a show with a very passionate audience may be going their separate ways by season’s end.
According to sources, producers of the hour-long drama in question are looking to close out the season with a bang, and they believe splitting up this beloved couple will provide just such a jolt. Additionally, the break-up (which it’s fair to say no one will see coming) would give the series a lot of creative juice as it heads into what could be its final season.

Of course, there are risks — namely, hell hath no fury like a powerful ‘shipper community scorned. And if the separation isn’t handled properly (i.e. if it’s not believable), even non-fans of the lovebirds may revolt.

So, go ahead. Call me a Grinch in the comments. I deserve it. But while you’re at it, try and guess the identity of the twosome who may be spending their last holiday season together. To help you out, I’ve narrowed down the field of possibilities from 143 to just 9 in the photo gallery below. Consider it an early Christmas present from me to you.

If for some reason the link doesn't work, the couples pictured are: Snow and Charming from Once Upon A Time, Adam and Kristina from Parenthood, Nikita and Michael from Nikita, Meredith and McDreamy from Grey's Anatomy, Rick and Kate from Castle, Peter and Alicia from The Good Wife, Arizona and Callie from Grey's Anatomy, Julia and Joel from Parenthood, Booth and Brennan from Bones.

I say either Snow and Charming or Meredith and McDreamy, because I don't know Parenthood or Nikita but Castly just got together, Booth and Brennan are finally together (albeit boring), I don't think The Good Wife breakup would be very dramatic, and Arizona and Callie haven't been together as long (or as centrally) as the other GRey's couple.

But it says this show could be going into its final season and Once Upon A Time is only in season two. I don't see next season being its last, so I don't think Snow and Charming are the doomed couple. I was thinking more Mer/Der as Shonda Rhimes is said to loooooooooooove Arizona/Callie.

From Lainey:

She’s married and they have a child. And these days she’s much more visible -- all over -- than he is. There have been rumours, since they seem to be apart so often, that their relationship has been unstable. Though they’ve recently been seen together, and appear to be happy, he might not feel so secure if he were to find out who she’s sleeping with behind his back, and so indiscriminately.

My sources confirm that there was a boy, a very young, very famous, pop boy with his own fragile love situation who she f-cked for sh-ts and giggles. Just 2 nights later, it was another very famous former pop boy (of sorts) 20 years older who, obviously, specifically targets her small demographic. One night only. Those would be her more famous indiscretions. But they say she’s been cheating all over the place and all the time.

I'm guessing Gwyneth despite the fact that she has 2 kids because the idea of slutty Gwyneth cracks me up. As for the guys, um, one of those One Direction moppets and Robbie Williams?

ETA: Oh you know what? It's totally Miranda Kerr, who was in London (home of the boy bands!) for a few months while Orlando Bloom was in South America. There have been breakup rumors about them for months, but they spent Christmas together.

I was thinking the same thing, where her "small demographic" would be Vic Secret models. Don't know who the pop boys are.

God help me, my first thought was DiCaprio and....Bieber.

Lainey's on a roll today.

Just some personality and colour I thought you might enjoy...

Comeback Kid only dates famous girls. When he and Golden were together, he stepped out on her twice that she knows of: once with a stripper and the other with Pigtails. But even though it’s been years, and she’s well moved on, Golden still has a hard time hearing Pigtails’ music. Her trainer made the mistake of playing it once when they were working out. She demanded that it be turned off immediately and never again while she’s in studio.

While Golden can’t let go of her resentment, Comeback’s wife, the PM, can’t help it either. People assume that it’s his other, more curvier ex, who makes her crazy but homemaker to homemaker, it’s actually Golden who she can’t stand, and has been overheard disparaging, unimpressed with her skills and her ideas, rolling her eyes when her name comes up.

I'm thinking this has to be Affleck, no? Golden is Gwyneth, aka the ex that most gets on the current wife's nerves. Not sure who Pigtails is though.

The assumption: that in any discussion about marriage and babies, she’s the one who wants it and would have his immediately if only he’d ask. But he’s the one who wants, or at least is leaning more towards having kids, than she is. HE is the one who wants to start a family with HER. She’s resistant because of concerns about her past health, worried about what that would mean for both her, and her future children. He’s not pressing but they’ve been seeing specialists together, looking into different options, hoping to perhaps be parents within two years, even though no one seems to (want to) believe they can make it that long.

I have NO ideas, but I'm really curious about this. Any childless celebs who've had health issues anyone can think of?

swsa wrote:God help me, my first thought was DiCaprio and....Bieber.

Lainey's on a roll today.

Just some personality and colour I thought you might enjoy...

Comeback Kid only dates famous girls. When he and Golden were together, he stepped out on her twice that she knows of: once with a stripper and the other with Pigtails. But even though it’s been years, and she’s well moved on, Golden still has a hard time hearing Pigtails’ music. Her trainer made the mistake of playing it once when they were working out. She demanded that it be turned off immediately and never again while she’s in studio.

While Golden can’t let go of her resentment, Comeback’s wife, the PM, can’t help it either. People assume that it’s his other, more curvier ex, who makes her crazy but homemaker to homemaker, it’s actually Golden who she can’t stand, and has been overheard disparaging, unimpressed with her skills and her ideas, rolling her eyes when her name comes up.

I'm thinking this has to be Affleck, no? Golden is Gwyneth, aka the ex that most gets on the current wife's nerves. Not sure who Pigtails is though.

It'd be JLo, right? Pigtails seems like a weird nickname for her, but the timeline fits.

The assumption: that in any discussion about marriage and babies, she’s the one who wants it and would have his immediately if only he’d ask. But he’s the one who wants, or at least is leaning more towards having kids, than she is. HE is the one who wants to start a family with HER. She’s resistant because of concerns about her past health, worried about what that would mean for both her, and her future children. He’s not pressing but they’ve been seeing specialists together, looking into different options, hoping to perhaps be parents within two years, even though no one seems to (want to) believe they can make it that long.

I have NO ideas, but I'm really curious about this. Any childless celebs who've had health issues anyone can think of?

The last sentence seems to hint that it's a disliked couple, but Kim K's already knocked up, so who does that leave? Oh wait, maybe Britney and the fiancé who runs her life?

I read it as: Comeback Kid: Affleck. The PM: Garner. "The other, curvier, ex": J Lo. Golden: Gywnnie. So Pigtails is someone else.

So, Gywnnie and Ben broke up in 1997. Who was sporting Pigtails in 1997 and made good cardio music? I first thought of Britney, but ...Baby, One More Time came out in '98, and she was too young and too well-managed at the time to be cavorting with Bffleck.

Baby Spice? She sure wore a lot of pigtails and the timing is right, in terms of her being famous then? Is that just totally batshit crazy?

The curvier ex would be J. Lo, he didn't hookup with Jennifer until a few years after he and Gwenyyh broke up so the timing wouldn't fit for him cheating on her with JLo.

I love it, if only for the picture of Gwennie working out to Spice Girls like the rest of us peons.

Jessica wrote:I read it as: Comeback Kid: Affleck. The PM: Garner. "The other, curvier, ex": J Lo. Golden: Gywnnie. So Pigtails is someone else.

So, Gywnnie and Ben broke up in 1997. Who was sporting Pigtails in 1997 and made good cardio music? I first thought of Britney, but ...Baby, One More Time came out in '98, and she was too young and too well-managed at the time to be cavorting with Bffleck.

Baby Spice? She sure wore a lot of pigtails and the timing is right, in terms of her being famous then? Is that just totally batshit crazy?

Oh, I misread the "curvier ex" as meaning Pigtails. Hmm. The Google machine tells me there were rumors of a Ben/Brit hookup in the early 2000s, which fits.