Fifty Shades of Grey

Ok - I just got book 3 from the library (no way am I paying for that). I'm not even 2 chapters in and my blood pressure is rising!

For instance (spoilering, just in case):

Spoiler:

This book makes me so mad - it's basically teaching people that it's ok to be an arrogant, a**hole who threatens violence against his partner, controls her every move and gets away with anything he wants because a) he's the most beautiful creature to ever walk the earth, b) he's rich and c) he had a crummy childhood. Boo freaking hoo!

But hey - good lesson men: act like that and you can still get the beautiful untouched virgin to submit to your every sexual whim. And good lesson women: as long as he gives you multiple, mind-shattering orgasms it doesn't matter how he behaves.

Arrrrg! I wonder if I should even bother with the third book. I'm mainly reading it because a very good friend of mine just loved the whole series and read it 3 times and I promised I'd try it. I'm not sure how I'm going to keep my mouth shut this weekend at camping if it comes up - because I actually get shouty mad when people say they love Christian.

In a recent post from Hank Green (author John Green's brother, skip to 3:13 for the information), he mentions that 50 Shades of Suck has now sold more copies than Ray Bradbury sold of all his work in his lifetime. I hate people so much. I've been encouraging all my friends to go buy a book, any book, of any genre by any author, as long as it's not this one. I'm really starting to get angry about all this. At first it was amusing, then boring, but now it's crossing a line. I didn't care when The Da Vinci Code was huge, or Twilight--heck, I read them both just to see what was going on and they were both very bad but in a funny way--but this artifically manufactured popularity is horrible. Yes, it's gone beyond James's PR machine now, because I've met otherwise nice people who are crazy about Christian Grey (they were all Team Edward people, too), but outselling Bradbury just boggles me. Including Fahrenheit 451? The book that's a modern classic and been in goodness knows how many classrooms over the years? I see Fahrenheit 451 is currently 24th on Amazon's bestseller list, so that's something. Unfortunately we all know who the top three spots belong to.

It doesn't surprise me at all. People have always preferred books that are easy to read over books that make you think. Dime novels were hugely popular back in the day, and nothing has really changed since then.

The thing is, books like 50 Shades are snacks, not meals. I doubt E.L. James will leave a lasting impression on the literary world the way Ray Bradbury has. So yeah, her work is big now, but the novelty will wear off. Then we'll move on to the next stupid thing.

I do wonder if her time in the spotlight might even be more limited than most. With all three books already released and basically at peak popularity, I can't really imagine this level of interest lasting. Part of me is still wondering if the film will ever even be made.

I think what also frustrates me with these books is I still feel like the media is playing softball with them. Or they're just too distracted writing headlines about bondage and "mommy porn" to actually bother critiquing the books the way they deserve.

swsa wrote:I do wonder if her time in the spotlight might even be more limited than most. With all three books already released and basically at peak popularity, I can't really imagine this level of interest lasting. Part of me is still wondering if the film will ever even be made.

I think what also frustrates me with these books is I still feel like the media is playing softball with them. Or they're just too distracted writing headlines about bondage and "mommy porn" to actually bother critiquing the books the way they deserve.

Yeah, I know what you mean. The only honest critiques I've seen of the writing itself has been through personal blogs, unless I'm just not reading the right reviews. Anyone want to link me with some scathing ones? I'd like to think that they're out there, somewhere.

I have no doubt that the film will be made. They will crank out a product as fast as they can so they can squeeze every penny out of this franchise before it disappears from everyone's consciousness...or SUBconsciousness. Is that the place where the inner goddess lives? Who fucking knows, it makes no sense. :P

I just find it odd that it's apparently being fast tracked and is so in-demand, yet it's been months and they haven't even announced a screenwriter yet. I really think they need to get moving, because I don't see this thing maintaining this level of interest for much longer.

And yeah, I feel like this series hasn't received a fraction of the disdain from the mainstream media that Twilight gets, which is ironic when the book basically IS Twilight with worse writing and BDSM replacing vampirism. It's interesting to think about in a way, that maybe it's just automatically taken more seriously because BDSM is a cooler selling point than celibacy.

'Twilight' was pretty bad, but it's nowhere NEAR as bad as this...thing. Sure, 'Twilight' has its fair share of poorly constructed sentences, overwrought metaphors that make no sense, etc., but I've read a bit of both, and 'Twilight' is much easier to follow. James' writing style is just chocked-full of WTF, it's not even funny. You practically hear the thoughts she had in her head while writing these books: "Well, good writers do this and that, so that's what I'll do!" *fucks it up royally*

Sure, 'Twilight' has its fair share of poorly constructed sentences, overwrought metaphors that make no sense, etc., but I've read a bit of both, and 'Twilight' is much easier to follow. James' writing style is just chocked-full of WTF, it's not even funny. You practically hear the thoughts she had in her head while writing these books: "Well, good writers do this and that, so that's what I'll do!" *fucks it up royally*

ITA. Stephenie Meyer is not by any means a good writer but she is so much 'than E.L. James that I'm still scratching my head as to how 50 got so popular even as fanfic. The writing is so lousy, and there's so many Briticisms in the writing that threw me out of the story every time they popped up. I don't read Twilight fanfic so I have to wonder how terrible most of it is if E.L. James was held up as a great writer in those circles.

People probably just read it for the porn aspect of it.

big chicken wrote:People probably just read it for the porn aspect of it.

You know, the only thing I like about this trilogy is the fact that it took Meyer's hopelessly chaste and ridiculous story and "tainted" it with sexy times. I had grown so tired of hearing about how 'Twilight' was a good series for young girls to read just because the leads waited until they were married to have sex, there is a small part of me that's glad "Edward" and "Bella" are into spanking and bondage now. Now, if only it had been written well...*sigh*

It's the sexy times that make me think that if this thing does make it to the big screen it won't be even 1/100 as popular as Twilight and will flop big time. The big to-do over the series is driven by the explicit sex, and that is going to have to be watered down beyond belief in order to be acceptable commercially. R-rated romantic movies are few and far between except those with a comedic slant, and successful ones are even rarer. And even if they ramp up the sex, it's one thing to tee hee about these books online and behind close doors with friends, but it's another thing altogether to shell out $12-$20 to go out in public and watch what has been widely known as porn -- "mommy porn" (and OMG DO I HATE THAT PHRASE SO MUCH!!!), but porn nonetheless.

So, if you take out the sex you've got...a pretty bland idea for a movie. I can't for the life of me believe a studio is going to shell out even bottom barrel dollars to make anything that wouldn't go straight to DVD.

This book illustrates a huge part of my issue with Entertainment Weekly lately -- sometimes that magazine is chock full of great writing and interesting pieces, but if something is zeitgeisty enough they are completely incapable of/afraid of honest criticism of it (except for their movie critics, who go out of their way to make it known they think Twilight is dumb, which feels like it's compensatory for the blow job the rest of the mag gives it). Their treatment of 50 Shades and Twilight are examples of this. I just feel like they go out of their way not to critique the stuff they think is super popular -- like the high-schooler trying to stay at the cool table by acting like everything the popular kids love is awesome.

As a faithful EW subscriber I agree -- it seems to have gotten even more safe and less critical of things that are perceived as hot or popular.

I also think the Twilight covers sell so well they're probably literally keeping EW in business right now. And they're looking for the next big newstand-issue mover.

I often hate ONTD, but I must say I'm pretty much loving this thread.

Jude wrote:I often hate ONTD, but I must say I'm pretty much loving this thread.

I sincerely do not understand the whole "making a cake based on a book" thing. Like...you liked reading it so much you want to eat it now? Are people throwing parties for horrible popular novels? I don't understand.

(Also, "Laters, baby" is so fucking stupid that it annoys me every single time someone references it.)

Why does one of the cookies say "stow your twitchy palm"? What does that mean? Do I want to know?

Lily Rose wrote:

Jude wrote:I often hate ONTD, but I must say I'm pretty much loving this thread.

I sincerely do not understand the whole "making a cake based on a book" thing. Like...you liked reading it so much you want to eat it now? Are people throwing parties for horrible popular novels? I don't understand.

(Also, "Laters, baby" is so fucking stupid that it annoys me every single time someone references it.)

I did once attend a five course meal inspired by courses described in a book, but this was at a professional restaurant, and the book was sort of about food to begin with so...I dunno.

I feel like all those baked goods would sell well on Etsy.

I honestly don't get the cake thing either. I think I might be embarrassed if someone made me a cake based on a book I liked, much less something like Fifty Shades of Cringe. But who knows?

And I have no idea what that saying is all about, Luthien. I remember the "Laters Baby" nonsense, the lip biting and the "Holy Crow"s (which actually bothered me more than the "Oh Geez"es). But "stow your twitchy palm"? Not a clue.

What I like about that thread are the comments, and especially that cartoon in the first one. I'd like to make a zillion copies of it and paste it on every copy of the book, because that's just my feelings about it in a nutshell.

Yeah, the cartoon is awesome. I would like to make bookmarks of it and sneak it into copies of the books in bookstores.

A drunken dramatic reading of Christian Grey taking Anastasia's virginity. I wish this person would do some more dramatic readings of other novels: for example, the sex scenes in Jean Auel's "The Valley of Horses" would be hilarious. Or Jamie Fraser losing his virginity to Claire in "Outlander".

The "twitchy palm" is about how he always wants to spank her due to her misbehaving. She tells him to keep his twitchy palm stowed.

Examples of things he thinks she deserves a spanking for include, but are not limited to:

-biting her lip
-rolling her eyes
-talking to her friend Jose (Jake)
-leaving her office for lunch
-speaking to other men
-and basically speaking up about anything at any time

I may exaggerate a bit....but not much.

Still hate these books.

Luthien wrote:A drunken dramatic reading of Christian Grey taking Anastasia's virginity. I wish this person would do some more dramatic readings of other novels: for example, the sex scenes in Jean Auel's "The Valley of Horses" would be hilarious. Or Jamie Fraser losing his virginity to Claire in "Outlander".

This was the most awesomely hilarious thing EVER.

Oh god, the "SPROING!" killed me.

I started reading the first book and holy moly.........

This is hilariously awful. Not as awful as Twilight, but hilarious in a good way. Ana is an idiot. And a dope.